I call my mom’s ex-boyfriend my ‘Second dad’ 30 Years late
What would you call someone who is your dad, isn’t your steppe, but still chooses to show up for 30 years? Well, That’s Been My Conundrum With My Mom’s Ex-Boyfriend.
Charles dated my mom for six months when i was four years old and never fully left my life. He and my mom remained friendly, and over the years, he lingered on the periphery. There is a short visit, Small Gifts, and, after he moved from Johannesburg (where we live) to australia, the Occocational Phone Call to Stay in Touch.
My mom has always hadys mixed Feelings About Our Bond, but Only Because We Make Her Feel Like She’s Living in An UpSide-Down Family Sitcom. When i was a teenager and we would fight, i’d grab the phone, call charles, and dramatically Yell: “Talk to my mother! She’s being unreasonable!” It would drive her up the wall. These days, charles and i routinely scandalize her on Our Group Calls with Our Colourful Banter.
She Also Appreciates Our Bond and the Unexpectted Ways Charles Has Shown Up for me. He bought with Driving School LESSONS, Surprised US Both by Paying off the remainder of my student debt, and, we starts MAKING ADULT MONEY, he became one of my Most frequen Buddies.
On Our Trips Together, Strangers offen Assume he is my dad Because our Relationship has all the trappings of a traditional-kaughter relationship-except it. It”s moments like that that rymind me how unusual our bond is.
They offten Travel Together and Are As asced Whether they’re Father and Daughter.
Courtesy of Lauren Melnick
I call my ‘secret dad’
SO, How do we have explain our unique bond?
As a joke, i’m offen introduced as Charles’s “Love Child.” IT’S QUICKER THAN Explaining the which situation and avoids the usual confused Questions. “Is he your Stepdad?” He isn’t. “Is Your Dad Gay?” Nope. “Was Your Dad Absent?” He wasn’t. “Thatn Why did he stay?” That’s the One Question of US Can Fully Answer.
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Charles Says He Instantly Felt a Bond I Demanded to sit on his lap as a toddler. All i know is that he has haen the only man my mother has brought home (Besides my father) i’ve like and accceptable. While there was no initial plan to stay in my life, life (as we know all too too) HAD Other plans.
That’s why i’ve settled on the title of “Second dad.” What ELSE WOULD YOU CALL SOMOON WHO HAS ALWAYS OFFERED UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT, GUIDANCE, AND LOVE? DNA May Not Bind US, but is the Definition of a Father.
The Author Calls Charles Her “Second Dad.”
Courtesy of Lauren Melnick
Our Bond Expanded My Definition of Family
I’ve Never met anyone else with a dynamic quite like ours. Sure, People Form Bonds with Stepdads, but your mom’s ex-Boyfriend?! It ‘unusual, bizarre, and i woldn’t change a single THING ABOUT IT.
Charles Made with Family More than the People Who Share Your Last Name – IT’S the one you build. He tough with True Commitment doesn’t come in the form of labels. IT’S an ANDEMPTION ACTION, A CHOICE YOU MAKE DAY TO KEEP SHOWING UP IN SOMEONE’s Life.
Plenty of us have complicated family trees, but i’ve learned through relationship that it is the People who unabashedly choose you that make you feel at home. Whether your Blood or Your Found Family, Everyone Deserves at Least One Person Who Stys Simply Because they want to.