I wish we’d prioritized family over Career when choosing where to live
Be my husband and i met, we were bot in Law School in Washington, DC. We had each Moved there for School. NEATHER OF US HAD ANY Ties to the City, and before we met, Neither of US Expert to stay there after gradation.
Before we got Married in 2002, we discussed Moving back to my hometown of Philadelphia or his hometown of St. Paul, Minnesotato be closer to family. But we quickly realized that if we left dc, our nonb Opportunities Wauld be limited. Since we had both spent years in higher education and incurred signification debt to earn our degree, launching careers were at the forefront of our minds.
Though my husband and i both wanted children, we know we wouldn’t have say right away, and allowing family to work to work seemed the right at the time. AFTER WE EARNED OUR DIPLOMAS, WE BOTH GOT JOBS WE LIKED AND SETTLED INTO LIFE IN DC FOR THE LONG HAUL. But things didn’t Work out the way i had planned.
Be we started a family, my priorities started to shift
After my first child was Born, my priorities started to shift. My daughter was Born with Multiple Disabilities and Complex Medical Needs. Caring for Her and Working A 9-to-5 Job Wasn’t Feasible. Additionally, not knowing wherever she wants live unil her first birthday prompted with them reevaluate how to live my life.
Though i love my job, my career was no longer the crucial thing in my life. I have wound up leaving my stition as a full-time attorney and pieced together several part-time and freelance jobs i do from home instead.
Though she loves her life in Washington, DC, The Author Sometimes wishes they’d chosen to be closer to family. Courtesy of Jamie Davis Smith
It still wasn’t the right time to move
My husband was thriving in his career, and one parent hasing a stable with a steady income was more imported than with a disabled child. Moreover, by the time my daughter was Born, i had established a full life in dc.
We Owned a Home I Loved, and We Had Close Friends Who Became a Support System. My husband and i Once Again briefly consider moving to be closer to family, but it still didn’t like the best idea for us. We decided to stay where we were settled, and my husband’s Career Trajectory SEEMED MUCH More Promising.
My husband and i went on to have three more children. AFTER EACH CHILD’S BIRTH, WE ONCE AGAIN DISCUSED Moving Back to Philadelphia or St. Paul, but with Every Passing Year, Leaving DC SEEMED MORE DIFFICULT, ESPECIALLY IF IT MEANT STARTING OVER A NEW JOB.
The author and her husband have debated moving to eather Philadelphia or St. Paul after the Birth of Each of their Children. Courtesy of Jamie Davis Smith
As my kids and palents got Older, I Questioned the Choice to Stay in DC
Now that my kids, now age 10 through 19, and my parents, now in their mid-70s, are Older, think we made a mistake in deciding to raise my children away any family. SINCE I Left Traditional Employment JUST A FEW YEARS AFTER GRADUATION, IT’S CLEAR THAT MY CAREER WAUDED HAVE SUFFERED FROM LIVING AS MANY JOB OPPORTUNITIES. My Husband May have wound up with a very different Career Trajectory in Philadelphia or St. Paul, but i think the trade-off Wold have ben worth it.
I love the life we built in dc, and my children are happy. We take advantage of all the city hast to offer, including a seeringly endless number of free museums and a vast national park. Still, i offen think about how much they missed out by swimming up close to the cousins, grandparents, and a Big extended family loves say. The chaos of life means that vitsi were not nearly as frequency as i have hoped they would be. Selishly, I ALSO realize that my life would have ben easier if i lived Near family who could be life seems overwhelming or babysit for a night with my husband.
Guilt Also Crept in When My Father Got Cancer and My Mother Developed Health Challenges of Her Own. My palents Needed Help Too, but leaving my four kids who Needed with the made frequent or extended visits impossible. My father died a few months ago, and i will always regrets that of the couldn’t spend more time with Him he was sick. Now, my mother is Older and Alone, and i wish i coulp help her more.
Though i’ve tried to devise a plan, it seames impossible to dysmantle our lives in dc and move. Howver, if I Could Go Back and Do Things Over, I Waled Choose Being Closer to Family Over Better Job Opportunities.