Woman Hears From Dying Dad Years After Abandoning Her—Overwhelmed by Advice – ryan

A 25-year-old woman has turned to Reddit for help after receiving an unexpected phone call from her estranged father.

Reddit user u/PastlessFuture explained that her father walked out on her family when she was 10. Now terminally ill and with no one else to turn to, he asked her to care for him 15 years later.

The original poster (OP) asked the internet, “Do I owe him anything?”

Following her father’s abandonment, she said that her mother worked multiple jobs to support the family, and she had to grow up fast. Since then, there had been no contact until an unknown number rang her.

“It’s him. He says he’s sick, possibly terminal, and has no one else to turn to,” the poster wrote.

The call left her torn. She felt a deep anger toward the man who abandoned them, but the idea of ignoring his request in his final days weighed on her.

“My mom says it’s my choice, but I can tell she hates the idea of me helping him. My siblings want nothing to do with him,” she wrote.

At the time of writing, the post has received 10,000 upvotes and over 5,000 comments. The majority of users questioned the father’s intentions years after the abandonment.

“Why didn’t he reach out earlier? Isn’t it convenient that NOW is when he reaches out? I’m sorry, but he doesn’t care about you. He only cares about himself and you’re his last resort. You deserve better than that,” one person wrote.

Others who had cared for elderly parents after being estranged from them offered their advice.

“Please do not care for him. It is hard, and thankless. Help is expensive. Possibly terminal means you could end up doing this for years. It will completely take over your life,” a Redditor warned.

Patricia Bathurst, a licensed marriage and family therapist from The Oasis Rehab in California, told Newsweek that given the OP has some hesitancy about caring for her estranged father would make it very difficult for them.

“Choosing to be a caregiver in this situation would likely lead to resentment and other issues. It seems like OP feels some guilt about this. It’s important to accept these feelings and maybe work through them with the help of a therapist,” Bathurst said.

In an update, the OP revealed that the responses helped her gain clarity: “I won’t be uprooting my life to take care of him. That’s a weight I refuse to carry. My time, my love, my energy—they belong to my mom and siblings. The people who stood by me. Who prioritized me. Every. Single. Time. Not just when they needed something.”

However, she decided she might see him once, not out of obligation but to ensure she wouldn’t be left with unanswered questions or regrets.

“I know there’s a chance his answers won’t bring me peace or could even make me angrier, but at least I’ll know I faced it,” she said.

Newsweek reached out to u/PastlessFuture via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.

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