Dear Valentine, We’ll Face Whatever Comes Together – ryan

Last year, I purchased a box of Ninja Turtle Valentine’s Day cards for my 3-year-old to hand out at daycare. As I was helping him get them ready for Valentine’s Day, one card stood out to me. Donatello stands holding his stick (I looked it up: it’s a bō staff) and wearing his purple mask. The card reads “The Challenges Never End, Valentine!”

My first impression was that this was the worst Valentine’s card I’d ever read. At first glance, I saw nothing sweet, endearing, or encouraging about a reminder that “The Challenges Never End.” In fact, it seemed too realistic, since it does seem that challenges do continue to pop up on a daily basis. In the past year, I’ve lost a grandparent, had a four-day power outage, had to replace our dryer, taken our 8-year-old to a gastroenterologist specialist, experienced some job and position changes, had a bathroom remodeled, and dealt with some school issues with one child. It has been a really good year, with far fewer challenges than some years. Yes, “The Challenges Never End” seems accurate, but I don’t always like it.

I mulled over the card for a few days, and I started to appreciate it more. If nothing else, it was 100% true. It’s a reminder that my husband and I  will never reach a point when we have it all together, and all the challenges cease to exist. I placed the card in my desk drawer, and I’ve looked at it frequently this year.

On the card, Donatello’s bō staff is stuck in a pepperoni pizza, and he has a surprised expression on his face. It’s a silly card, but I think it hints at an aspect of true love. “The Challenges Never End, But I Will Be Here,” would have promised too much for a kids’ Valentine, but I think it makes a beautiful adult Valentine’s Day card.

There will be many cards for sale this February that have expressions about how attractive the beloved is or how much fun the couple has together. Of course, I love being reminded that my husband finds me attractive and that we have fun together, but there are not many messages I find more loving or romantic than a reminder that my spouse will be by my side, for as long as God gives us together.

If the card just read, “I Will Be Here,” it wouldn’t hold the same significance as one that acknowledges that challenges will come. The promise that sustains relationships is a promise to stay through sunshine and rain, through calm and storms, and through day-to-day challenges and life-altering challenges. With a promise like that, it’s okay to acknowledge the coming challenges.

It doesn’t take a fortune teller or even a silly Valentine’s Day card to know that challenges are coming. I can look over the last 14 years of marriage, and at the lives of my loved ones around me and know that Donatello is right: The challenges never end. Some years will hold fewer challenges than others, but there won’t be a challenge-free week, month, or year on this side of eternity.

This Valentine’s Day, I’ll be reminding my husband that I’ll be there as we face all of life’s challenges together. We don’t know the future, and I can’t predict what this year or the next decade will bring, but I’ll be there. For as many days as God gives us together, we can face the challenges that come together. I can’t think of a more romantic promise. The challenges never end, my love, but for as long as God gives us together, I will be right here.