Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Hemdale Home Video, Newmarket Motion photos, HBO, Twentieth Century Fox
Sean Bean. Christopher Lee. Danny Trejo. Pedro Pascal. These are aesthetic just some of the actors who’re connected to demise onscreen across movie and tv. But with a brand new demise aesthetic added to his résumé in season two of The Closing of Us, it’s miles time for a brand new inductee to the membership: Italian American actor Joe Pantoliano. In his six-decade career, Pantoliano — most identified for his role as Cypher in The Matrix and as Ralph Cifaretto in The Sopranos (25ish-year-old college spoiler alert: He dies in both) — has died many times, which, obviously, beckons a ranking.
After I current this project, I knew Pantoliano had died just a few times, but I was as soon as no longer willing for the real fact: He has died so many times and in so many options that he has a devoted web page with just a few classes on Cinemorgue, a Wikipedia for onscreen deaths. Within the most fresh flashback episode of The Closing of Us, fellow frequent corpse Pedro Pascal shoots Pantoliano. It’s some distance thought to be one of the most few roles in which Pantoliano played an no doubt morally correct person.
The next ranking spans Pantoliano’s roles in movie and tv, alongside with miniseries and made-for-TV motion photos. It breaks down the motive of demise, explains whether or no longer the demise was as soon as relaxing or unhappy, and generously affords an Italian scale to honor Pantoliano’s heritage (plus, he performs a extensive selection of characters with very Italian names). Video games and animation roles did no longer depend for this ranking, enraged by Pantoliano did no longer physically painting the act of demise, but it’s miles serious to notice that his demise depend crosses a plethora of media.
From The Sopranos to Dexter: Normal Sin to Tales From the Crypt to a bunch of motion photos and tv presentations I promise you maintain never heard of, listed below are Joe Pantoliano’s deaths, ranked.
Cause of demise: Split in half by a large crocodile.
Sad or relaxing? Pleasurable — Henderson helped create the immense-crocs.
Italian scale: They don’t maintain crocodiles in Italy.
I suppose this with the relief of contemporary experience: Joe Pantoliano getting eaten by a large crocodile isn’t as thrilling because it sounds.
Cause of demise: Falling out of an ambulance after being overwhelmed by Fatso Judson (Peter Boyle).
Sad or relaxing? Sad.
Italian scale: Within the 1953 movie of the the same name, Inner most Angelo Maggio is played by Frank Sinatra.
This miniseries adaptation of the radical of the the same name follows individuals of the U.S. Navy infantry firm. Pantoliano’s persona, Angelo, was as soon as a soldier in the infantry, stationed in Hawaii in 1941. Clearly, Pantoliano was as soon as solid in this role sooner than casting directors found his gruesome charisma.
Cause of demise: Hit by a automobile while being chased by Dexter.
Sad or relaxing? No longer relaxing for Dexter Morgan, who wished to serial extinguish him sooner than the automobile received in the manner.
Italian scale: One grandmother prick.
I did no longer know they brought Dexter relief, but in retrospect, all the subway commercials I seen final year now form sense.
Cause of demise: Shot off-veil at some stage in a shoot-out at a café.
Sad or relaxing? I wouldn’t know: I truly maintain no longer seen this movie — it’s no longer on hand on streaming, and I wasn’t about to employ $20-plus-shipping on a DVD — and received all my context from studying location summaries, which construct no longer offer emotional prognosis.
Italian scale: What is the different of pasta?
This movie opens with a shoot-out that ends in the demise of several characters. Then it flashes relief to their lives sooner than the incident and affords an different of what would happen to the characters in the occasion that they survived the taking pictures. It’s some distance potential that here’s thought to be one of the most few Pantoliano characters who is rarely any longer an unpleasant human being, given that he’s a victim in this one. Seriously, this movie co-stars Catherine O’Hara, who performs Pantoliano’s persona’s fundamental other on The Closing of Us.
Cause of demise: Explosion (at some stage in a shoot-out).
Sad or relaxing? Pleasurable: Carl was as soon as a bully and a murderer.
Italian scale: Zero bowls of spaghetti.
Every thing I be taught about Simon & Simon (and this explicit episode guest starring Joe Pantoliano) came from a blog I discovered dedicated to Simon & Simon, a existing I had never heard of except writing this ranking. There are this form of extensive selection of worlds out there.
Cause of demise: Explosion
Sad or relaxing? Pleasurable: Pantoliano’s persona in this alleged movie is a world murderer who goes by the name “the Lion” and forces an FBI agent to extinguish his admire fundamental other. No longer particular why the FBI agent did that, although.
Italian scale: ¼ teaspoon of Italian-wedding soup.
I’m no longer elated that Deadly Impact is a loyal movie.
Cause of demise: Shot by Crater, a clone of Pluto Nash (Eddie Murphy).
Sad or relaxing? Here is thought to be one of the most few times a correct Pantoliano persona is killed.
Italian scale: This movie does nothing to suggest that Italian culture survives the transfer from earth to the moon.
To claim anything about The Adventures of Pluto Nash as well to to what has already been stated about The Adventures of Pluto Nash would be exhibiting too indispensable appreciate to The Adventures of Pluto Nash and, due to this fact, disrespectful to cinema.
Cause of demise: Accidentally shot by a machine gun at some stage in a shoot-out.
Sad or relaxing? Neutral.
Italian scale: Potato.
This movie opens with men with amnesia trapped in a warehouse. They are going to’t undergo in mind why they’re there and why some of them are tied up or handcuffed. The movie doesn’t offer indispensable aside from a uncommon Pantoliano moment of redemption: His persona realizes he’s thought to be one of the most tainted guys and uses the knowledge he can undergo in mind to succor the correct guys. Sadly, he dies in the crossfire of a shoot-out. So typical …
Cause of demise: Shot.
Sad or relaxing? Neutral.
Italian scale: No longer ample knowledge.
After his arrest, Snake works with rules enforcement to alter into an informant but indirectly devices them up. He is shot sooner than he has the opportunity to construct indispensable. Snake does no longer get indispensable veil time, but he has a lengthy lasting influence: He styles his hair in upward spikes with some devices dyed hot crimson.
Cause of demise: Falling out of a helicopter.
Sad or relaxing? Potentially the most piquant unhappy thing about this demise is that the title of this movie triggered the 2012 tune “On Prime of the World,” by American rock band Factor in Dragons, to be stuck in my head for a minimal of eight hours.
Italian scale: Tombstone pizza.
Joe Pantoliano in the cease flew too cease to the solar: He starred in too many projects with an actor who was as soon as on ER (for added on that, please continue studying), ensuing in an inevitable helicopter incident.
Cause of demise: Shot in the head by Cleveland (Andre Braugher).
Sad or relaxing? It’s some distance unhappy that Andre Braugher is pointless in loyal life, but it’s miles relaxing that Andre Braugher shot Joe Pantoliano in a fictional movie.
Italian scale: He’s literally in the Mafia.
You appreciate how Nicole Kidman will suppose sure to anything as lengthy as she has to wear a wig? Joe Pantoliano is that, but for getting shot.
Cause of demise: Stabbed by a scalpel at some stage in a fight with Highlander.
Sad or relaxing? Pleasurable. He is rarely any longer a frequent doctor; he’s an gruesome ER doctor killing his patients.
Italian scale: One plentiful ol’ glass of Italian wine
In a scene in which Dr. Wilder gets a discuss with from a reporter who’s onto him, he wears aviator-trend eyeglasses and an ivory extensive-ribbed turtleneck with a cream cardigan. It’s some distance gorgeous.
Cause of demise: Shot.
Sad or relaxing? On this HBO movie starring pre-ER Anthony Edwards, Pantoliano performs an creator of western dime stories whose fearless act kills him. Luckily, he gets a brilliant and lengthy pre-demise monologue.
Italian scale: One can of beans.
HBO set up the total budget into Pantoliano’s wig.
Cause of demise: Shot in the head by Joel (Pedro Pascal) after being bitten by a mushroom zombie.
Sad or relaxing? Sure.
Italian scale: Jeffrey Wright is mainly the most piquant Italian in this universe.
Potentially the most piquant likable persona this man has ever played.
Cause of demise: Supernatural causes at some stage in sexual intercourse.
Sad or relaxing? Pleasurable.
Italian scale: A dozen arancini balls.
I watched your total episode, which is on hand on YouTube. Pantoliano performs a mustachioed preacher in the church of “limitless address” who wears an all-dim suit. He leaves no arancini ball crumbs, as repeatedly.
Cause of demise: Grew to alter into to stone after locking eyes with the decapitated head of Medusa (Uma Thurman) when he opens a fridge.
Sad or relaxing? Gabe is the abusive stepfather to the titular role, making it relaxing. I guess.
Italian scale: One pound gabagooooool.
Gabe’s demise happens in a mid-credits scene, and he opens the fridge no matter a notice announcing no longer to construct that. I’m no educated in the storage of Gorgon heads (who is?), but I suppose strongly that a fridge in a New York Metropolis house is rarely any longer the voice.
Cause of demise: There are several causes of demise because Ulric receives the nine lives of a cat: shot in the head, drowned, hanged, automobile fracture, electrocuted, crossbow, stabbed, suffocated after burying himself alive.
Sad or relaxing? Pleasurable: Ulric, a magician, takes relief of his energy so indispensable that it ends up killing him because he loses song of his lives.
Italian scale: Jared Leto in Home of Gucci.
This efficiency is Pantoliano’s first of several deaths on a Home Box Place of commercial program.
Cause of demise: Shot in the neck by a sniper.
Sad or relaxing? Sad. The persona regarded in all four motion photos in the franchise. While I truly maintain no longer seen most of them, Will Smith’s performing in the demise scene urged that he was as soon as rather upset about this.
Italian scale: Chris Pratt as Mario in The Sizable Mario Bros. Movie (2023).
Captain Conrad Howard went out essentially the most piquant manner any persona can exit in a movie: after a lengthy monologue at some stage in a girls’ basketball sport in Los Angeles while carrying a Hawaiian shirt and a branded Sony sun shades strap.
Cause of demise: Shot by Gina Gershon (taking half in Gina Gershon).
Sad or relaxing? It was as soon as a meta reference to Sure, so it’s miles relaxing.
Italian scale: Five Joe Pantoliano, paunchy-grown.
Sutton Stracke of The Staunch Housewives of Beverly Hills furthermore seems in this episode as Sutton Stracke of The Staunch Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Cause of demise: Shot in the head (over again) by Leonard Shelby (Man Pearce).
Sad or relaxing? No longer unhappy and intensely relaxing (over again), that will presumably per chance be the title of a Radiohead tune.
Italian scale: 12 Luigis.
If I needed to exhibit this movie with a gun to my head, I would get shot in the head, too. Relish many Pantoliano characters (Teddy or John G, or whatever his name with out a doubt was as soon as), he had it coming.
Cause of demise: Shot in the chest with an electrical beam by Tank (Marcus Chong).
Sad or relaxing? Extraordinarily relaxing. After one like dinner with Agent Smith, he betrayed his team. Can’t suppose I wouldn’t construct the the same, although …
Italian Scale: A prick of bread without olive oil and overwhelmed dim pepper.
Searching back, Cypher is thought to be one of essentially the most relatable characters in The Matrix franchise: For Cypher, loyal life is so intolerable that he murdered his associates to get relief into the (titular) Matrix.
Cause of demise: Shredded by a wood chipper.
Sad or relaxing? No, it’s miles hilarious. He dives into the wood chipper, and his physique comes out of it without lengthen like it’s a human-remains sprinkler. Years later, Fargo took an manner extra rooted with out a doubt.
Italian scale: One pot unsalted pasta water.
This allotment of Pantoliano’s career was as soon as “Expendable Man in Cop Comedy.” Must you maintain studying-comprehension abilities, you’ll maintain already primary that Downtown is rarely any longer essentially the most piquant movie in this ranking starring Anthony Edwards.
Cause of demise: Shot in the chest (many times) by Violet (Jennifer Tilly).
Sad or relaxing? Pleasurable and humorous. Are you sensing a sample here?
Italian scale: 25 Marios dressed up as Ryan Atwood.
Caesar’s physique lying in a pool of white paint is thought to be one of essentially the most iconic shots from 1990s cinema. Caesar was as soon as killed by lesbians, making this scene thought to be one of essentially the most iconic moments in Joe Pantoliano’s filmography and cinema history.
Cause of demise: Beaten and strangled by Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini), who was as soon as driven infected over dropping a pet horse (but he was as soon as most seemingly going to save that anyway).
Sad or relaxing? No … but Pantoliano’s presence on the existing did walk away a gap. Ralphie was as soon as unpleasant but thrilling, and his appearances repeatedly equipped a necessary culinary tip. The Giada de Laurentiis of The Sopranos, apologies to Carmella.
Italian scale: 70 Al Pacinos in the Seventies.
Ralphie died doing what he cherished (agitating Tony Soprano) but sooner than ingesting thought to be one of his favorite meals (scrambled eggs with a chunk little bit of bitter cream). I truly maintain seen this episode many times, but Ralphie’s strangulation is thought to be one of essentially the most brutal abolish scenes in tv history, which is rather an accomplishment enraged by how unpleasant the persona is. Unrelated to the ranking, but I truly maintain added a dollop of Daisy to my scrambled eggs ever since I first watched The Sopranos in 2011, and it’s miles a sport changer, but I suppose responsible each time because Ralphie, among many other crimes, beat an harmless Bada Bing stripper to demise in a automobile car parking space. RIP Ralph Cifaretto, you would possibly per chance presumably per chance maintain cherished the sharks in Gladiator II.
This ranking is rarely any longer over yet because I’m as committed to the bit as Joe Pantoliano is to the act of demise. For this blog, I did something fully out of persona: I made a spreadsheet. The spreadsheet allowed me to help song of Joe Pantoliano demise statistics, alongside with causes of demise, deaths on HBO, and medium. Under are essentially the most famous observations and stats:
Deaths on an HBO program: Four (Tales From the Crypt, El Diablo, The Sopranos, The Closing of Us). Once an HBO boy, repeatedly an HBO boy.
Most frequent motive of demise: Taking pictures (Sure, The Matrix, The Closing of Us, The Existence Sooner than This, A Higher Technique to Die, Memento, Running Jumpy, Chucky, El Diablo, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Execrable Boys for Existence, Unknown, Tales From the Crypt). Potentially the most piquant targets more straightforward than Joe Pantoliano are stormtroopers. He is most usually shot in the chest, followed by the head.
Shot by lesbians from Sure: The first time Pantoliano was as soon as shot by a lesbian from Sure was as soon as when Jennifer Tilly shot him in Sure. The 2d time a lesbian from Sure shot him, it was as soon as Gina Gershon in Chucky.
Loss of life in a comedy starring ER’s Anthony Edwards: Two (El Diablo, Downtown). I’m truly hung up on this for some motive.*
*I’m in the course of an ER binge.
How gruesome are Joe Pantoliano characters who die? The easy answer is as a rule, however the right answer is that out of the 24 roles in this ranking, Pantoliano is gruesome in 20, just in a single, and proper in three. If a Pantoliano dies onscreen, there is an 83 p.c likelihood the persona is a tainted guy.
How in total does Joe Pantoliano die? There are 160 credits in Pantoliano’s filmography, and 25 on this listing, which excludes animation and video-sport roles (+4 Galex, Godzilla: The Sequence, The Simpsons, and Mob of the Needless, which makes the total 28), which implies Pantoliano dies in 17.5 p.c of his roles, which sounds low, but he works loads.
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