Man Backed Refusing To Take Back His Ex-Wife Despite Family Disagreeing – ryan

Internet users have rallied behind a man who refused to reconcile with his ex-wife after she left him for a so-called “alpha male.”

Reddit user u/ThrowawyBeta, a 29-year-old line cook and father, shared his story on the subreddit Am I the A******? (AITAH), where it quickly gained traction—earning over 19,000 upvotes and sparking a wave of support.

The man had been with his wife for seven years, five of them married. Their relationship took a turn after they had a son during the pandemic. His wife left her job to care for their child, 4, while he juggled his job as a cook and side gigs doing Uber Eats to support them. Later, the woman returned to law school, passed the bar, and was hired at a firm—becoming the primary breadwinner.

“This is where the problems started,” the man said. She encouraged him to leave the kitchen to become a stay-at-home dad. “I loved my job. Cooking was my passion and I even worked my way up to full-fledged chef. My biggest regret in our marriage had to have been her talking me into leaving,” he said.

As her career took off, their marriage deteriorated. According to the poster, she began spending less time at home, often going out of town or drinking with colleagues under the guise of “networking.”

The woman grew cold, distant, and their intimacy dwindled. Looking back, the poster admitted some responsibility, saying he should have communicated better. Still, he found solace in caring for his son and witnessing his milestones.

Eventually, his wife asked for a divorce—and revealed she had already found someone else: a partner at her firm.

“She told me that he invited her out a couple times and showed her ‘the life of luxury’ she deserves.” She then insulted the poster for his stay-at-home role, calling him “feminine” and dismissing his previous jobs as unworthy.

The wife referred to her new partner as an “alpha male,” gushing over his height, muscles, and wealth—and said he wouldn’t date her officially until she was divorced.

She casually told her husband he could have full custody of their son, saying: “He likes me better anyways.” The poster described feeling shattered. “For the first time, I couldn’t recognize the person in front of me.”

After his wife left, he cried for two weeks but pushed forward for the sake of his son. He eventually returned to his job part-time and began therapy, which he credits with helping him heal. He also noticed the stark silence from friends and family. “On social media, everyone was praising her for being this strong independent woman … like I was some villain holding her back.”

Months later, his ex-wife called, sobbing. Her relationship with the “alpha male” had collapsed—he had found someone else. She admitted to feeling insecure after giving birth; she had been swayed by a divorced colleague who told her she was out of the poster’s league. Her regret, however, didn’t sway him.

“She told me how much she misses me and how she took me and all I did for her for granted,” the poster said. Though he admitted missing her too, he told her firmly, “I’m not some consolation prize she can come running back to.” The man ended the call—but not before she revealed she had wanted to come back just a week after leaving, but pride held her back.

Since then, the poster has been inundated with calls and messages accusing him of being heartless—including from her family. Her father even requested a family meeting to talk things through. While the poster agreed to attend, he said he plans to stand firm—though recent pressure has made him second-guess himself.

The Expert Take

Seth Eisenberg, president and CEO of the Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills (PAIRS) Foundation, told Newsweek his opinion.

“This story powerfully captures a dynamic that’s becoming more visible in modern relationships: what happens when traditional gender roles reverse, and how betrayal—especially one layered with social and emotional power imbalances—reshapes not only relationships, but also identities,” Eisenberg said.

He added that the poster was within his rights to say no to reconciliation. “Refusing reconciliation after betrayal can be a profoundly healthy and self-affirming decision, especially when the return seems more circumstantial than heartfelt,” he added.

Eisenberg said that being left for someone “better,” especially with language such as “alpha male,” leaves deep wounds. When reconciliation is sought only after that “better” option collapses, it often feels like being someone’s Plan B—not a genuine attempt to rebuild.

“His decision to move forward is not heartless. It’s courageous. And it’s healthy,” Eisenberg continued.

Reddit Reacts

Reddit users overwhelmingly supported the poster’s choice to protect his peace. One top commenter wrote: “I’m a lawyer whose husband was a SAHD (stay-at-home dad) and who, personally, struggled during the pandemic. I didn’t cheat. I didn’t give up … She made choices over and over and over that hurt you and your son. And, from personal experience, she didn’t have to do that.”

Another added: “She didn’t come back because she loves you—she came back because she’s scared and alone. Don’t let her turn you into her safety net.”

Newsweek reached out to u/ThrowawyBeta for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.

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