17 Predictably Sleazy Finds From Charlie Sheen’s Memoir

Shut your eyes and recall the halcyon days of 2011. Yes, there used to be an economic recession that appropriate wouldn’t let up and the portentous upward push of the proto-Trumpian Tea Birthday celebration and all kinds of terrible pure mess ups but … you might per chance maybe neatly be a come-absolute skeeze and very virtually salvage away with it! (No longer that well-known has modified … I mean Donald Trump is president currently, excellent now, in 2025.) Absolutely the skeeze in put a question to isn’t the hot leader of the fascist world, even supposing. It’s Charlie Sheen, one man of Two and a Half of Males fame, who is out with a new memoir detailing the sordid occasions that led up to his very public, almost definitely tiger-blood-prompted, flameout of 2011. That 12 months, CBS determined to ultimately fire the actor from America’s then-most-watched sitcom after turning a blind stumble on to his neatly-documented involvement in a intercourse ring, home-abuse charges, substance-exercise points, and total sleazy habits. Sheen took the boot and swung a machete spherical on a rooftop to the tune of a million Twitter followers in a day and die-exhausting followers cheering his meltdown one-man reveals. Getting canceled a decade and a half ago breeze used to be diversified.

Sheen comes across as a miniature bit glib referring to the total destruction and complications he wrought in The Book of Sheen. Written in a in point of fact vulgar-boy, intercourse, medication, and rock-and-roll tone, the e-book fills its pages with reports of paid-intercourse encounters, benders lasting so lengthy that the belief how his dwelling smells makes you mentally gag, and assertions of innocence. Sheen largely glosses over discussions about his most evident allegations of wrongdoing throughout the 350-net page roller coaster that spends an inordinate amount of time on his twin fictionalized Vietnam-movie obsessions, Apocalypse Now (starring his dad, Martin Sheen) and Platoon (starring himself); baseball metaphors; and his exasperate over shedding a childhood ping-pong match with O.J. Simpson. To accompany the e-book, Sheen additionally has a documentary out on Netflix on September 10, aka Charlie Sheen. For these that’re ready for some title-shedding and dope-taking, then listed below are the most Charlie Sheen of Charlie Sheen reports for you to be taught.

Making an try “the opposite facet of the menu” (homosexual intercourse) throughout his crack-fueled years:

Sustaining he handiest slept with consenting adult males, Sheen confirms that he regularly dabbled in “the opposite facet of the menu” that most steadily “used to be catering the tournament.”

“In point of fact lemme snatch the stress off and retort a pair of questions so I don’t salvage hit with them afterward any take care of talk reveals.

“Turn into a pair of of it fun? You betcha.

“Turn into the “other facet” in play with out crack? By no technique.

“Had been these the occasions that ended in the extortion you had to pay?

“These occasions and others.

“Is there a sense of relief to ultimately being almost about these experiences? A astronomical one.”

Addressing battery charges against vulnerable girlfriend “Jane”

He claims that the “media’s slanted portrayal” of his extremely publicized assault case within the ’90s “didn’t fall wherever cease to the fact” for the reason that survivor allegedly slept with him twice after that. Okay. “Final analysis: I didn’t hang the posh to ponder her motives,” he admits, adding that he didn’t want to violate parole if anybody heard he saw her despite the restraining. “I additionally had a bunch of crack to raise me on my toes.”

Ratting out friend and convicted madam Heidi Fleiss:

Inspire within the ’90s, Sheen regularly fashioned Fleiss’s services and products to e-book paid intercourse. “I undergo in mind my first dialog along with her on the cell phone as even supposing it had been the previous day,” he writes. “Heidi used to be kool and friendly, with a relaxed sexiness that enveloped her command. It used to be real and had a manner of shielding or delaying the realization of how razor-arresting she used to be. Intentional or in some other case, that thing labored like a arresting enchantment. Sooner than I knew it, I had agreed to 12 gigantic for 2 girls from center of the night ’til every time and used to be convinced I’d pulled one over on her.”

When the Feds caught of whiff of her actions, Sheen made a deal to snitch in trade for his freedom: “I by no technique had to appear on the trial for any of it — we reduce a deal for immunity and so that they videotaped my testimony at a impartial station of work. Heidi and her attorneys had been within the room with me, and I felt like this form of fukken a-hole as I laid it all out like a two-bit canary.”

September 11 intelligent him to propose to 2d fundamental other, Denise Richards:

Identified 9/11 truther says the tragedy opened up his coronary heart to a 2d spherical of nuptials. “My motivation to tie the knot wasn’t linked to the same outdated emotional suspects — it used to be galvanized by the lifestyles-changing occasions of 9/11,” he remembers. “All of that shit got here knocking on America’s front door, and when we went to answer to, it blew up your entire fukken dwelling. On September 10, I was sexy; by the morning of the 12th, I didn’t wanna die alone.”

Bill Clinton allegedly eyeing Sheen’s then-girlfriend Dolly Fox while filming Three for the Motorway in 1986:

The vulnerable president gets a enlighten-out, this time as an allegedly creepy Arkansas governor. After being invited to Clinton’s governor’s mansion with co-stars Alan Ruck and Kerri Green, “Ruck overheard Clinton speak to one of his aides: ‘Bring collectively out what you might per chance maybe also referring to the brunette,’” Sheen claims. “The brunette used to be Dolly, and to this day Alan swears it used to be an right quote.”

Pondering the HIV community “hijacked his vulnerability” and ending up on Dr. Oz:

Sheen publicly revealed that he used to be HIV breeze in 2015, but that doesn’t mean he critical to be an recommend. “With miniature effort to cowl the narrate, that community did their handiest to hijack my vulnerability and nominate me for poster-miniature one situation,” he complains. “I went on the side of a pair of of it, and in a roundabout plan harm up within the crosshairs of Dr. Ouncesand his televangelic scientific circus.

“I hated being on his lisp but I did owe that man a stable. When Bob and Max had been discharged from the health facility, Ounceswas within the neighborhood and made a dwelling name to establish on their limited tickers. When it got here to all matters of the coronary heart (build for romance), his thumbs-up used to be a cosign 2d to none. The yellow-brick-doctor used to be handiest with them for ten minutes and I harm up in four episodes of his lisp. Perchance Turkish even-Steven is a miniature bit diversified and if that’s the case, I converse we both received. (Nonetheless he with out a doubt received manner extra Steves.)”

Visiting Nick and Mira Sorvino after violating parole:

Sheen recounts this 1998 story in a manner that makes you wonder how well-known inventive license he took with the dialogue: “‘Dood!’ he chided. ‘I hang by no technique considered any individual who needs to be in rehab bigger than you attain. And I hang considered so many these who critical it within the most desperate strategies you might per chance maybe also imagine.’ That struck me deep, but I was composed pondering, combating the glaring with potent denial. Nick pressed me more sturdy: ‘For these that don’t scuttle as of late my friend, you might per chance maybe also very neatly be going to die.’”

Later, he claims Sorvino promised to sleep with him if he turned himself in: “That lady took it to one other level when she grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me to consideration: ‘Hear to me, you crazy, elegant man, I understand why you don’t wanna scuttle, but you might per chance maybe also very neatly be out of choices. This isn’t a game anymore, these persons are having fun with for retains. Stare upon me Charlie, seek info from at me: I could sleep with you — must you appropriate promise to salvage yourself to court this morning.’”

Shedding his virginity to a “Vegas escort” courtesy of Martin Sheen’s credit ranking card:

On a day sail to Vegas throughout his sophomore 12 months of excessive college, he charged a evening with an “escort” on his dad’s Mastercard. “We outlined our lisp to Sweet, and he or she replied with a level of bodily generosity neither of us knew existed,” he recounts. “She used to be Ann-Margret in her high with a Mastercard swiper. (I didn’t care that the swipe took longer than the intercourse.)” He did no longer obtain his dad’s autograph like she asked. When dad came across out, Sheen received an earful.

“All the plan in which by Dad’s two-hour lecture to me about intercourse versus take care of, I saved stressing how handsome Sweet used to be and what a titanic deal Dad and I both received for the associated price,” he writes. “The seek info from on his face urged me we had been finished.”

Frequenting massage parlors with bestie Chris Penn armed with counterfeit IDs and allowance cash:

Telling their fogeys they had been heading for dinner and a movie, Sheen and Penn would exercise the “moolah” to frequent “illegal” intercourse parlors in Santa Monica with homemade fakes. “As unbelievable and enticing as that world regarded, it used to be simple ample to lose stumble on of the fact that we had been composed in college,” he provides. “The excellent manner to raise it beneath the radar used to be to make a choice our spots and no longer salvage grasping.”

Inserting out with his intercourse doll:

All the plan in which by his ’98 rehab stint, a supervisor introduced him a “traveling hand” courtesy of his 2d Staunch Doll. His first melted at his lake dwelling. “As an clarify shaggy dog story months earlier, I narrate her up within the jacuzzi to fright the shit out of a buddy of mine. (I was too excessive to ingredient within the fundamental good judgment of with out a doubt hot water and latex.),” Sheen writes. “The prank used to be a masterpiece, but Staunch Doll didn’t continue to exist beyond the laughter.”

Purchasing so well-known crack the suppliers belief he used to be a limited-time dealer:

That low summer season of 2011 saw Sheen’s dope consumption hit chronicle levels, in step with his scuttle. “Phil regarded me excellent within the eyes and very evenly outlined, ‘My guys are shutting you down on chronicle of they’re convinced that you just’re dealing. They’ve by no technique considered this well-known dope scuttle to one man who wasn’t dealing, and so that they’re providing you with a pass — on chronicle of you’re my man.”

Combining of coco-puffs and porn:

“I wasn’t snorting it in addition-known as I was striking it within the cease of my cigarettes for a pass identified as the coco-puff. First rate head bustle that lasted about a minute until the next cig-tip wanted to be stuffed and lit.

“Having a seek info from motivate, as my mind change into extra strange referring to the connection between fire and cocaine, there’s absolute confidence that combo served as the precursor to freebasing. I upped the ante extra by adding porn to the mix, and presto — my holy trinity used to be total.” It’s magically delicious.

Thanking Johnny Depp for his smoking addiction:

Sheen says he first started smoking cigarettes on the Platoon narrate with the litigious actor with a composed-rabid fandom. “Depp began to give the cigs extra regularly; I began to accept them much less cautiously (on the total after P.T. or a meal),” he writes. “This went on for approximately every week, with Johnny’s arresting glee spherical it growing by the day. He ultimately clued me in — he had efficiently converted one non-smoker on every of his old three movies … (After I ultimately give up smoking on the Fourth of July in 2019, I did the maths and learned that I had smoked twenty-five miles of cigarettes when lined up tip-to-butt. Thanks, Johnny; must I ever need one, I’ll ship you the invoice for my new lung.)”

Level-headed infected about shedding a ping-pong match to O.J. Simpson on The Cassandra Crossing narrate:

Winning a ping-pong game on the narrate of Platoon: “I believed motivate to O.J. and what a classless bully he used to be, denying the newborn-me a 2d I’d hang cherished forever.”

Staring on the O.J. automobile skedaddle: “Admire each person else, we had been speechless and timid as the last bent chapter of a sports actions and media icon used to be disintegrating sooner than our very eyes. My childhood ping-pong bully had crossed the last line.”

Selecting between fundamental other Denise Richards’s Armani wedding-costume appointment and the last Crawl City wrap birthday celebration: “This might per chance occasionally advance as no surprise to anybody that I lost the Italian debate like that O.J. ping-pong game.”

Calling his clique with Nicolas Cage “The Jackson 5”:

With “ecstasy as our rocket gasoline” the five-man clique descended on Vegas over the previous month of taking pictures The Rookie. “Barely ready to depend but composed searching a test-in pseudonym at The Mirage, we declared ourselves as The Jackson 5.” Sheen even absconded from rehab to birthday celebration with the J-5 for a bikini contest, promising the nurse $1 million if he didn’t return by the cease of her shift at 9 a.m. arresting. (He made it motivate, he writes.)

God sending him signs to prevent appealing:

One in all the signs integrated two accidental proposals to porn stars. “Up on the lake within the mid-’90s, I took a flawless-D pinkie-ring off my finger while inebriated outta my mind within the bathroom and proposed to a porn big title I was head over heels in lust with for three days,” he writes. “After I sobered up, and Steph urged me what I’d finished, I saddled her with the job of going to the girl’s dwelling with an apology, and strict orders to salvage the fukken ring motivate. Admire a champ Steph did, but it completely composed left me in a disgrace-pit and damn come ringless. Years later I proposed to one other porn big title, whom I met as a excessive-dollar name lady. I was so embalmed the 2d time, I invited all of my pals and household to a astronomical engagement birthday celebration for each person to celebrate my porny future fundamental other. Again, as soon as appropriate wasn’t ample; I had to salvage thrown from that carnival bound a 2d time to verify it as a rickety hazard. (My security guard had to handle that one; her baggage used to be manner too heavy for Steph to raise.) God sent me a ship, which I deemed unseaworthy.”

Getting excessive on testosterone cream made him at risk of tiger-blood theories:

“(Brian Wilson) used to be explaining how guys like us had been diversified in that we hang ‘tiger blood’ running by our veins — veins held on the side of ‘Adonis DNA,’ a substrate so extraordinary it used to be by no technique programmed to ‘lose’ on chronicle of ‘guys like us’ are continuously ‘__.’ (I don’t want to write that seven-letter be conscious. That you just might per chance additionally already hear me announcing it, with that particular person inflection and rhythm from atop Mount Bedlam.) That’s the plan in which it went down. I was so jacked on the Krazy Kreem, these phrases went into my mind and stayed on a loop appropriate beneath the bottom.”

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