When we got married, I never thought things would turn out this way.
When we got married, 14 years ago, we had been dating for seven years already. We just knew we would eventually be married, there was never really a question about it. We were just super comfortable with each other—best friends almost.
I had a friend from school who always tried to convince me that we lacked passion. We were “too comfortable.” We were too easy, there was no drama, no fireworks.
But I came from a dramatic childhood—a dysfunctional family filled with fireworks (and not the good kind)—and so having a safe, easy place in the presence of the man I loved, felt better than I could ever explain.
Our marriage has been a comfortable one; we don’t have big fights or yell at each other. Maybe to some it is because we lack that passionbut I love life this way. I love knowing where we stand together. I love knowing I can trust him and always count on him to be there for me.
Our relationship consists more of friendship than passion although our two children are the living proof of our desire for each other. But, I love it this way. Because if passion was all we built on, we would not have lasted. Because life throws so many curveballs at us, that passion wouldn’t have sustained our team.
Passion would not have sustained us when I got diagnosed with a debilitating condition and placed on medication that left me a shell of who he fell for. Friendship did. Mutual respect did.
Passion would have died if that was all we had when I hit that dreadful perimenopause phase of life when being intimate was uncomfortable and even painful at times and my moods were not enjoyable for anyone, when the ever-growing list of symptoms was dictating our lives.
But instead we had love, friendship, and respect. And because we had that foundation, we figured it all out, together. We overcame things together that passion could never.
Today, we are still happy together, and we have each other’s backs—through thick and thin, no matter what life throws at us. I couldn’t imagine doing life without him by my side.
When we got married, I never thought things would turn out this way. It turned out so much better than I thought.
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