Heartbreak at What Parents Did To Cherish Terminally Ill Baby in Womb – ryan

The story of two parents who were told at 14.5 weeks into their pregnancy that their unborn child wouldn’t survive has broken hearts on the internet.

Elizabeth and Joshua Evans were given a diagnosis of Trisomy 18 for their son Joshua Mark Evans Jr.—a rare genetic disorder that affects about one in 5,000 live births.

“We were told that I would either miscarry, he’d pass away in the womb or he’d pass away shortly after (birth),” Elizabeth told Newsweek.

But instead of preparing to say goodbye to baby Joshy, as the couple had affectionately nicknamed him, the couple chose to cherish the time they had together in his short life.

“When a baby passes away, you don’t always have those memories because you didn’t have as much time. This is why we decided to make memories with our baby,” Elizabeth said.

“It was a way for us to cope with his diagnosis and put a positive spin on the situation. Doing so allowed us to have happy moments with our baby despite the heartache of knowing we didn’t have much time left,” she said.

Over the course of the pregnancy, Elizabeth and Joshua read, sang and talked to their baby in the womb. They took Joshy to a pumpkin patch, decorated their home for the holidays, took him to see Christmas lights displays and even celebrated his birthday the night before he was born at 36 weeks.

Joshy was born with multiple abnormalities caused by Trisomy 18, including a heart defect, cysts on his brain, clubbed hands and an omphalocele—where his intestines developed outside his body. He also had dextrocardia, meaning his heart pointed to the right instead of the left.

When the diagnosis was confirmed, Elizabeth was advised to terminate the pregnancy as even her own health was at risk being a Type 1 diabetic.

“That was not an option for us,” she told Newsweek. “I was going to carry him as long as he lived… as long as God let me.”

The couple’s decision to make memories with their baby was extremely helpful and healing. “It made the pregnancy and made him feel so real,” Elizabeth said. “We have a beautiful bond and relationship with our baby because of the memories we’ve created.”

Newsweek spoke to psychotherapist Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, PMH-C, who specializes in infertility and birth trauma based in Los Angeles, said coping with the grief of losing a pregnancy or carrying a baby who won’t survive is extremely difficult.

“People often don’t know what to do with it, or they push it down, and it just lives there taking space that is painful and can lead to negative coping strategies or somatic symptoms,” she said.

Goldberg praised the couple for their approach to cherishing the memories with their baby.

“That time mattered. Those memories mattered. It probably gave (them) some peace to know (they) did everything (they) could to connect, to love, and to give that baby whatever life was possible while they were still together,” she said.

Elizabeth shared their story in a reel on Instagram (@elizabethevansss) which has garnered almost 26 million views. Over 5,000 users commented on the reel, many of whom expressed their sorrow for the parents.

“I’m fully sobbing. May you be reunited in paradise. All that baby ever knew was love,” one user wrote.

“An example that in life it’s always the perspective that matters,” added another.

A third commenter wrote, “Crying so much… you were his lifeline. I just know he felt so much love being connected to you.”

Four months since Joshy passed away, Elizabeth continues to share her story online, connecting with other grieving mothers.

“I’m so grateful we’ve been able to touch so many people’s hearts with our story,” she said. “It was my greatest blessing and an honor to carry baby Joshy and to give him a life.”