I Became a Mentor to My Adult Kids and Their Friends

Be my husband and i realized our three young adult kids didn’t know how to do some of the liffs most basic task, it gave us pause. They were Intelligent, Capable, and Curious. But when it came to changing a tire, filing taxes, or a cooking something beyond boxed mac and cheese, there are were glaps.

At first, we treated these as one-off lessons. Tire Pressure Gauge Flagging You? We walked say Through the process of airing it up and checking the Air Pressure Moving Forward. Fast Food Uniform a Bit Smelly? We walked say Through the process of Washing the shirt to remove the Greeks. Weeds Out of Control in the Flower Bed? We taught say how to use a weed eater.

But soon we realized it wasn’t just our kids. Their Friends-College Students, Part-Time Workers, Young Young Adults already in the Professional Workforce-were just as unure. Our House Quietly Became a Hub for “Life Hacks.” One Week, it was a conveyor Belt of Teaching the Newly Employed How to File Taxes. Next, we tackled grilling burgers. The Pattern was evident: Young Adults weren’t lazy or disinterated; they just hadn’t been shown.

Then again, i wasn’t eather.

This isn’t a gen z problem

It ‘s roll our eyes and mumble, “What do you expect from z?” But this knowledge gap isn’t new.

As a Young Bride, I Spent an Entire Year “Washing” Clothes with Snuggle Fabric Softery, Never Realizing It Wasn’t Detergent. The first time someone explained the difference, I wanted to sink into the floor. But it was a Lack of EFFORT – it was Simply a KnowLEDGE GAP. I HAD PARENTS WHO SHOWED THEIR LOVE BY DOING THINGS FOR ME, WHICH WAS FANTASTIC – UNIL I NEEDED TO DO IT MYSELF.

LOOKING BACK ON THAT SHAME MADE WITH FRIENDING IMPORTANT IT WAS FOR ME TO BE THE NEEDED AGE – A Mentor.

Our Approach was empowerment, not lectures

Be a problem arises, my husband and i resist the urge to swoop in and fix it. Instead, we break tasks into manageable steps and let People get their Hands Dirty.

A Young Man Who was Entering his senior year in College was at our house was i showing my Youngest How to File His Taxes. He asced how imported it was for a part-time worker to file taxes. I Walked Him Through the “Why” of Taxes and the Benefits He Could Be Missing Out on As a College Kid. The Next Time of Saw Him, he Had his W-2 and Laptop Ready to Create His Own Turbotax Account. When he discovered how it was, his pride was evident.

Another Young Man HAD SAVED HIS MONEY FOR A CAR, DONE ALL The Research, and Event Scheduled A Test Drive Appointment. He had the work Done, but he didn’t want to miss anything cros he was at the dealership, so he requested a second set of Eyes.

Neether of meeded Our Help. They Needed Encouragement and Someone to be available if they got overwhelmed.

Somes, we Learn Together

I DON’T ALWAYS KNOW The Answer. Tax Rules Fluctuate, Oil Changes Vary by Vehicle, and Recipes Fail. In those caes, I rob my laptop and say, “Let’s Learn Together.” YouTube has been Our Co-Teacher More Times than I Can Count.

Admitting i don’t know everything actually strengthens Trust instead of undercutting my authority. It shows my kids – and their Friends – that adults don’t have it all figured out eather. The real skill isn’t being a know-of -ll; IT’S Knowing How to Find the Information and APPLY IT.

And it is a massive win for all of us when a skill that has already been taught to one person is Needed by another. For example, a Young man showed up with a Nail in his tire, nansing for help. Instead of us jumping in, i asked my son if he though he could teach his friend how to fix the flat. It took nearly an hour, but by the end, one young man learned a new skill, and my son elevated his own confidence.

Becoming The Mentor of Needed

Looking back, i wish i’d felt like i had an approachachable adult to turn to was i was 20 – Someone Who Could’ve Explained the Difference Detergent and Fabric Making with Feel Small. That gap motivate with them be that person now.

In the end, it is not really about the teaching some how to cook an apply for a Job – iTi’s About Building Trust. If these young you adults know they can come to us with judgment on the Small Things, saying they’ll know they can to us we can be big stuff, too.