At 19, i had the shocking discovery that not only only did i have a different name name i was born, but that was adopted from colombia.
Be i was adopted, my birth name was immediately changed, and after years of Fighting Tooth and Nail to Fit in with my family, I decide that loss my family name i got i too much for me.
I COULDN’T DEAL WITH ANOTHER CHANGE TO MY Identity, so hyphenated my last name i was married – a choice i ended up regretting.
I LOST MY LATINO LAST NAME WEND ADOPTED
When i was Born, My name was elisa contraras nieves, a name given to me by fana, a foundation for the adoption of abandoned children in bogotá, colombia. While it is weird to think that strangers named and not my mother, it was nevertheless my name – one of the few ties to my birth and country.
Like Many adoptees, my parents deciding to change my name to something they have prefered. Luckily, my mom liked my first name and only slightly Changed Elisa. I did, howver, Lose my latino last name to guida, my father’s very Italian name, whic eventally led to years of racial ambiguity, where People were Constantly Ascing, “What Are You?”
While I proudly wore it, the world questioned my ownership of a name that didite match the face of what People are expecting to see. From Cultural Events at School, to Republic HIS COUNTRY IN A VIBRANT GREEN, WHITE, AND RED Italy Soccer Jersey During the World Cup, to Winning Awards in the Italian Honor Society with “Guide didn’t quite fit me.
Growing up in an Immigrant American Family, I was taught the importance of family and culture. The struggles our family had before immigrating and achieving the ideal american dream came with the prejudice that my faother never let me forget. My Father’s Heavy Accent and Name Immediately Signaled Him Out in School, where Teachers Called Him the slur “guinea,” which is one reason he pushhed with so hard to repredict not only his name, but its Italian Culture.
Be i got got Married, i hyphenated both last names
Being the first in my immediate family to graduate from high school and college meant my name – we name – was Featured proudly in the program they haveed at gradual. My Father HAD FRAMED ONE IN A BEAUTIFUL PLAQUE THAT PRODLY IN MY HOME OFFICE, SO CAME TIME TO GET MARIED, I KNEW WHAT I HAD TO.
Changing my name almost seamed too simple. I filled out my marriage Certificate and Carefully Wrote Guida-Richards, A Tie to My Old and New Life.
Now, I knew each change in documents and credit cards coulu up up to quite a few, but i didn’t experteryday activations to become a lot more difficult due to the Simple addition of a little husband’s.
The Hyphen Became a Headache
When i was would go to the pharmacy to pick up medical, suddenly, there are were difficulties in finding with in the system. Due to the hyphenated name, locating with in the system was now a Challenge. And when you must pick up multiple medications Throughout the month to manage your chronic illnesses, eAch of these interactions to add up.
Over the Next Few Years, i Questioned My Decision Every Single An Issue Arose. While it is Completely Legal to Add A Hyphen to Your Name, It Does Not Mean That Is an Avilaable Choice Be Filling Out An Array of Forms or Information In Computer Systems at the Doctor, Pharmacist, or DMV. This LED to Inconsissostization Across records and Difficulty in My Professional Life.
Be i got got Maried, i woried that embrace my husband’s name Wold somehow erase my family ties. Completely Changing was something something just i just get on board with unil i spent unpacking my identity in Therapy.
Now that of have, have realized it ok not to like anymore. People Change, we adapt, we grown, and songimes our names Need to change, which is why i will Save up to just that.
Melissa guida-richards is a transracial adoptee, author, and advocate. She is the Author of “What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption. “You can find her @adoptee_thoughs or Adopteethoughts.com.
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