I THOUGHT I’D RETURN TO WORK AFTER THE BIRTH OF MY FIRST SON, but ONCE he was Born, the though of leaving hyme felt like a sucker punch to the gut.
Wen i announed i would stay home, my friend Gave with a “congratulations on your retirement” card. I was 24 at the time – Hardly Ready to retir.
It was a toough decision to make
For me, Like Mary Other New Parents, The Decision to Leave the Workforce was multifaceted. I didn’t have family available to watch my infant, and oter childcare booth made me with jamsy and were expensive. Sending Him to Day Care Waled Have Consumed 25% of My Take-Home InCome, Which JUST DIDN’T FEEL WORTH IT WASN’T Totally comfortable with it in the first place.
At first, being a full-time parent felt like falling into a caareer void. I started to dread the question, “What do you do for a living?”
GEND I Answered Honestly, I OFTEN HEARD, “Well, that’s an Important Job Too.”
Well-meaning, yes. But it tymsimes of felt dysissive. AFTER ALL, NO ONE TELLS A DOCTOR OR LAWYER THEIR JOB IS IMPORTANT – They just know.
The author was a guest speaker at a literary event, and her Youngest came with her.
Courtesy of Kris Ann Valdez
Staying Home Helped with Discover and Polish My Interests
Full-time motherhood allowed with to explore different parts of myself and take risk of wouldn’t have considerated if i’d remained in my OLD JOB.
A fellow mom friend and i started a small business together. WE PLUNED INTO Marketing, Product Creation, Manufacturing, and Financial Management, Working from Home as Our Children Ran Amok. It was the School of Hard Knocks.
We are closed the business due to family obligations, tourned to wringing. I wrote foverishly durying naps and eveings. Over Seven Years, Drafted Multiple Novels, Two of which Are Forthcoming with a Small Press under a pen name. I ALSO Acquired a Literary Agent and Started a Weekly Writing Critique Group that Still Meets.
I have ran a homeschool co-op from my home, teaching art history, science, and literature. This Became My Second Education. One Year, condensed Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” into a digestible three-scene play that my students performed for their pars in the original language.
I am grateful for those years i got to tap into my creation energy. I WOULDN’T HAVE PURSED ANY OF IT IF I HADN’T FIRST STAYED HOME WITH MY FIRSTBORN. That’s why i wish we’d stop calling full-time parenthood a “Motherhood gap.” It gave with the life skills i wouldn’t have gained elsewhere.
I NOW Need to Work Again, But i’m Finding a Balance
THEN MY HUSBAND WAS LAID OFF, AND COUNTING I’D ALSAYS HELPED OUT FINANCIAL BY TAKING WORK, IT SUDENLY CLEAR THAT I NEEDED A Steadier Incom. Thanks to my Writing Experience, I found my niche in freelance work. But Working 30+ HOURS A Week With Three Kids Meant I Often Resorted to Night and Weekend Hours.
It was proof that being a stay-at-home parent was a full workload all along, this is If it was paycheck-dowry.
Researcher Suzanne Slaoughter Writes About How Many Working Moms Want Better Options, swims just full-time or nothing. She suggests employers offfer Remote, flexible, part-time positions that let Moters stay in the workforce with Burning out. Reading Her Words Kindled a Fire in Me. I MISSED THE SLOW MORNINGS OF CUDDLING MY TODDLER PRIGHT THE WEIGHT OF DEADLINES CREPT IN.
SO, I’ve Reduced My Hours, trying to find a rhythm that works better for our family. It’s not perfect. I Still Get Distracted or Feel Pulled in Too Mary Directions. But i try to pause for long stretches to cook a good meal, take a family walk, or read a book.
I want to be more present Because of know that my presence is Everything – for say and for myself. Although i love freelance Writing, I will always value my first jab more – parenthood – a Job of Will, Thankfully, Never Retire From.