I regret Changing My Last Name Wen i Maried But Won’t Change It Back

Prior to Getting Married In 2015, Changing My Last Name felt like an invitable part of the process. Both my husband and i were from conservatives, traditional families, and i didn’t know any who had kept their maiden after tying the knot.

While the practice felt both outdated and sexist, i Also felt as though swimming my name COULD BE A Potual Source of Conflict With Extended Family.

I thought Changing my last name Wold Makes Easier, but it didn’t

We Also eventually Wanted Children, and I was thinking ahead of about out Family we do i made the decision. There was something Appealing About Our Entire Family Sharing The Same Last Nameand i wanted my child to have the sun last name as i did. I ALSO THOUGHT THAT IT IT WOUL MAKES LOGISTICALLY EASIER WEND IT CAME TO DEALING WITH SCHOOLS AND DOCTORS ‘Offices Down the Road.

The year after Our Mariage, I Started The Process of Legally Changing My Nameand discovered the process was actually fairly difficult. I have to change every personal identify document, starting with my social security card, and then update Everyone from my doctor’s offices of the name Change. I had put the process off for months becase it was intense, and honestly, i was already hating second thuhts about at all.

So, at the Same Time I Changed My Last Name, I ALSO Legally Changed My Middle Name to My Maiden Name. It was my way of retaining that part of my identity.

While i regrett Changing My Name, i Likely Won’t Change It Back

Soon after of legally changed my name, I began to wonder if it had ben a mistake. And the more time, the most regretted it. In the first few years after we got my marred, i saw a friend and a family member choose not to change ther name for personal and professional reasons.

I was a bit jealous of the confidence they had to Keep Their Maiden Names tanny others cricicized thyir decision. THEN, OUR RELATISHIP WITH MY IN-LAWS BEGAN TO DETERORATE. The fact that I have had the LAST NAME FELET BOT LIKE AN UNWANTEED TO THEM AND A SYMBOL OF THE PATRIANGE, CONSERVATIVE THAT WERE CAUSEG the problems in the first place.

But at that point, we had Already had daughter, who has haad shared last name. Changing My Name Back Waled not only only require a ridiculous amout of time and paperwork, but also would mean that i wouldn’t have the suame name asymore. While cyometimes it can be a bitter reminder, it also represents the family that the three of us have created together.

USSING My Maiden Name Professionally is My Compromise

When i returned to work professionally, there was another willsue. I HAD FORMERLY PUBLISHED UNDER MY MAIDEN NAME AND HAVE A VER COMMON FIRTT NAME. It felt like there is no Connection Between What I Had Written before Mariage and My Newer Pieces I JUST Used my New Last Name. SO I DEEDED TO START USING MY FULL LEGAL NAME PROFESSIONALLY, INCLUDING MY MAIDEN-NAME-MEDNED-NAME-NAME, TO REDUCE CONFUSION.

But honestly, it was about mere practicality. Using my full name professionally is a way to hold onto that piece of my identity in a Very public way. Be i see an article or book with my full name on it, it feels like it represents with as a whole person, both who was before i got and who i am now as part of our family. And an added bonus is that now i don’t share a name with noisters of Other People!