Mirror Motoring’s Stephen Jones jumped at the chance to drive an Alfa Romeo Stelvio after remembering a throw-away line by Jeremy Clarkson
It’s always stuck in my head that Jeremy Clarkson once said on an episode of Top Gear that “you can’t be a true petrolhead until you’ve owned an Alfa Romeo.”
When it comes to combining style, performance, and a touch of Italian flair, Alfa Romeo is a brand that rarely fails to impress.
So I jumped at the chance when I was offered the opportunity to drive the Stelvio to a festival for the weekend; I couldn’t resist seeing if it could live up to its premium SUV billing.
First things first: the Stelvio is a head-turner. Whether parked up in the festival car park or cruising down the motorway, its sleek, aggressive lines scream sophistication and power.
This is a car that doesn’t simply blend into the crowd. With its signature triangular grille, narrow headlights, and aerodynamic curves, it stands out in a way that few other SUVs can manage. It’s stylish in a way that suggests you know your cars and appreciate design, but also with the promise of performance underneath.
On the road, the Stelvio does not disappoint. This isn’t just a pretty face; it’s built to drive. The 2.0-liter turbocharged engine in the version we tested roars to life with the twist of the key, offering a potent 280 horsepower. That’s enough to rocket from 0 to 60 mph in just under 6 seconds.
That might sound more like the performance of a sports car than an SUV, but the Stelvio makes it feel completely natural. Whether darting in and out of traffic or hitting the open road, there’s a sense of joy that comes with driving it. The steering is precise, the chassis is responsive, and the road noise is kept to a minimum—ideal for long journeys.
And speaking of long journeys, that’s exactly what we were embarking on when we took the Stelvio to the festival. With music blaring and the buzz of anticipation building, we set off with a sense of excitement. As we hit the motorway, the Stelvio’s cruise control and adaptive systems kicked in, making the long stretches of road far less tiring.
The cabin, with its mix of leather, brushed metal, and subtle yet modern tech, offers a relaxed atmosphere that’s perfect for winding down after a hectic week. However, the real magic happens when you turn off the highway and start navigating through winding country roads leading to the festival grounds. The Stelvio’s handling is simply brilliant. Its all-wheel-drive system and advanced suspension make light work of tight corners and uneven surfaces, providing a sense of control that’s reassuring and, dare we say, a little thrilling.
As we neared the festival, the Stelvio’s parking sensors and 360-degree camera system came in handy. Festival parking lots are notoriously chaotic, and the last thing you need is to scrape your pride and joy while trying to find a space. With the Stelvio’s suite of safety features—lane-keep assist, blind-spot monitoring, and automatic emergency braking—you can’t help but feel confident behind the wheel, even in a tight spot.
But no car is perfect, and the Stelvio isn’t immune to some practical drawbacks. For one, the boot space is slightly smaller than some of its rivals. Yes, it’s sufficient for a couple of weekend bags, but if you’re taking much more, you might find yourself a little cramped.
Inside, the Stelvio’s tech is generally impressive, but it’s not quite as intuitive as we’d hoped. The infotainment system, although sharp and responsive, can be a bit fiddly to navigate on the go, especially if you’re trying to change a playlist while navigating busy roads. The touchpad controller doesn’t always provide the most immediate response, and while the integration with Apple CarPlay and Android Auto is available, there’s a sense that the system could be a little more polished.
That said, when you’re in the driver’s seat of the Stelvio, those little annoyances are easy to forgive. You’re surrounded by a luxury environment, and the sound of the engine as it hums along the road makes it feel like every moment behind the wheel is an event in itself.
But the best thing I have to say is that the car didn’t disappoint when I came to leave the festival – last year I had a car which struggled to maneuver around the hilly car park, but the Stelvio lolloped over the grassy knolls with ease.
This is truly a car that doesn’t just get you from point A to point B—it makes the journey an experience. Sure, it’s not the most practical SUV for hauling large amounts of gear, but if you’re looking to enjoy the road trip as much as the festival itself, the Stelvio is an unforgettable companion.
The Alfa Romeo Stelvio is a vehicle that offers much more than you’d expect from a standard SUV. It’s fast, fun to drive, and undeniably stylish. If you’re looking for a car that can seamlessly blend into the glamor of a festival while offering an exhilarating drive, this Italian beauty ticks all the boxes. Just make sure you pack light.