‘Love Island USA’ Recap, S7, EP. 15–20: New Casa, New Rules
Love island
Week 3
Season 7
Episodes 15 – 20
Editor’s rating
Casa amor has essentially one Big do-over, and the islanders have only thermselves to blame.
Photo: Ben Symons/Peacock
As you know, Love island Airs an episode every day of the Week Except for Wednesday, whic is when we iekly recap will publish for the rest of the season.
Well, We’re Three Weeks Into Love island and nobody is in love. RespectFully, islanders, it is not cald Exploring New Connections Island. Exploration is not, in fact, what Love island is all about, no matter how many many times ace insists that it is. All of this exploring and staying open and Slow-Burn Nonsense Left US with Half the Villa Coupled Up But Stagnant-Unwilling to Stray But Unwilling to Grow-and the Other Half HoSingle Single.
It ‘time for casa amor, “The Ultimate Relationship Test,” and the villa has no relations to speak of. If there is no loyalty to test, the show has no choice but to use Casa amor as one big do-over instead. And now, we have two favores on the verge of being dumped. If the islanders don’t like it, well, they have Only thermselves to blame. This is what comes of producing from the inside, kiddos.
IT DIDN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, YOU KNOW. In another time, in another villa, nic and cierra hating sex for the first time would have ben a Major milestone for their Relationship. It would have been celebrated all over the villas and discussed at length for days, Leading to a romantic bicycle by the beach where they are about their siblings and traumas. And if that alternate universal nic haad told that alternate universal cierra that he hopes she having sex has not Changed the status quo in their Relationships, she wants Reacted More Strongly Than withholding Nighttime Back Scratches. In that villa, in that other time, it would not have taken cheeley and ace two and a half goddamn weeks to have first extra-challenge kiss, which was good!
But this villa – in this timeline, in this universe – sees theirings as the enemy. Now, we have poor amaya Papaya beginning every chat with a boy by nation, “What are your boundaries?” Just to be on the Safe Side. We have stern lectures for huda and rationalizing for Taylor. WORTS OF ALL, WE HAVE ISLANDERS Getting Voted off for Moving “Too Fast” with a new Connection. What COULD POSSIBLY BE “Too Fast” we only have eight Weeks to find love? Olandria and Taylor Have Been Coupled Up Since Day One, But They Are Still Having-On Conversations Like “How does a day in the liff look for you?” This is unsustainable.
Gioven the general respect to huda (whic has gotten so bad online that the show has had to be in a Title Card Urging fans to treat all the islanders with love and respect, which I co-seign), I understand why the islanders are anxious to maintain a Certain Level of Chill, but unconrolled Fury is not the only Feeling available to say. If they love Exploring So Much, Why Not Explore The Vast Tapestry of Human Emotion? I just need someone to feed something for any one other than Mild irration. Speaking of which, Austin Has Discovered that he doesn’t like being chased as much as he thought he was, and amaya, who is cursed with emotional intelligence and the ability to read a Room, notices right away. SO, THAT’S OVER. But at least it had a quick death.
Wait, pause. It ‘important to talc about by before I got on Because it was to one moment that brought every genuine joy this week. In the 15th episodes, Megan the stallion made a guest appearance she’s a superfan of the show and has swimwear to plug, and she doesn’t have to perform to improvet the atmosphere of the villa by 3,000 Percent. First, she visits the girls in the makeup room and hands out free Advice and Compulations. Next, she Judges a twerking contest in which huda and olandria defy gravity. Then, she gets to introdes the new bombshells, tj and Andreina. Can She Not JUST STAY? She doesn’t have to couple up with anyone or anything, just pop in now and then to be delightful, like a benevolent version of Ariana. Anyway, Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming.
Like Amaya, who is Constantly on the verge of tears, Hannah is an islander who really feels things. At Least She was. She was a wreck when charlie went home, but then she played herself together and got down to the business of falling in love with Pepe. Which at this point is going so well that she gets hypocritically pistsed crs huda pulls for a chat. (Honestly, who Else is huda supposed to try talking to? Which is another problem.) Pepe is whispering sweetings about being a “Relationship Guy.” Hannah is nearing the point of promising Pepe all the Things she was promising charlie a few days ago. And then she gets dumped from the island for it. Guys.
Historically, Islanders have operated on a last-in-first-out policy will be comes to eliminations but will also a vulnerable islander’s Relationship Status Into Consideration. Not so in this villa. GIVE A Choice (by America) Between Hannah, Amaya, and Iris, The Girls Vote to Dump Hannah, who is neother last in nor unattailed. In her speech explaining the vote, chelley says Something About Hannah Getting The Full Love island Experience while Iris and Amaya Haven’t, which Makes No Sense.
Now, America’s Favorite Boys Have to Dump One of America’s Least Favorite Boys: Austin, Pepe, and Jeremiah. And Since we know these islanders are working from their Own Playbook, it”s s slightly leste of a shock.
Backing up a moment and getting back to my point, before we let America vote on their favorite islanders, jeremiah had been to know bombshell Andreina. Remember a wek ago when iris came in as a bombshell and all the guys were into her, but she was Only interesting in nic and jeremiah? Yeah, Rinse and Repeat, Only This Time Andreina’s Interest in Jeremiah is actually reciprocated, which tours out to be the kiss of the Death. Truthfully, Jeremiah was Only Ever Lukewarm on Iris (They’ve al Theyady decideed to be platonic), but is smitten with Andreina, to ace’s great, and some mighty Irrational, disaproval. Getting excited over just one girl at a time? Ace fumes from business that is the huda situation all over again, and he won’t stand for it.
And thus ends Jeremiah’s Journey on Love island. What is going on? We just had a recoupling, and now everywhere? Run it back; We’re Doing All New Couples.
This time, the islanders have to couple up with the Casa bombshells, which is new. Yes, of Cours, Couples Will Be Deded by Trial-By-Olock-Out and Ritual Humiliation. No one leaves the villa unil we get this cast sorted out. No, They’re Serious About that. Ariana Explains to the islanders that, for the first time, Everyone Will Be Returning to the Main Villa after Casa, and i Can’t Begin to Imagine What That Bedroom is Going to Smell Like 22 Islanders Piled Other Like Sexy Kittens.
But that is TomorroW’s problem. Today’s problem is the boys’ rating system for kisses. The boys have been equipped with blindfolds and noise-canceling headphones for a sensory-deravation kissing contest, but they do not know their girls have been whiskled off to casa amor and replaced with new bombshells. (Whtever Music is Playing in Their Ears, Its Clear That Taylor, at Least, Is Havinging a Great Time and Wold Probably Skip The Kissing Part Altogether.)
With the context of knowing the boys think they’re kissing their girls, their ratings are, let’s say, illustrative. Pepe is just happy to be here and gits everybody tens. Nic is not Shy About Grabbing Ass but votes modestly. Ace is scoring kisses acctinging to a bizarrely specific point System of His Own Design. My Guy, IT’S NOT OLYMPIC GYMNASTICS – WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GIVE IT 8.6? Tj, who look like the type of person who gets arrests for the Drunk boating, rates everyone insulting low, so that’s print rich. And also a misstep. When the Blindfolds Come off and the bombshells have to couple up, who Surprised we are the one left single?
Oh yeah, that’s the other thing. There is one fewer bombshell than there arelanders, leaving one islander uncoupled and on a 24-hour clock to make a new Connection or be immediately dumped. Ready, Set, Graft, As They Say. I’m not shocked by any of the boys, but i am a little surprised by the Speed at Which Taylor is Moving with Clarke. Isn’t he, accorting to dosens of Beach-hut confessionals and girl talks and guy talk, just a slow mover by natural? What About Olandria? He all butys, out of sight, out of mind.
Careful what you wish for, my friend, Because a Similar Kissing-And-Recoupling Process is Happening over at Casa Amor, minus the blindfolds. Among the bombshells, there are two zak/cs, but we are primarily conference with the one who spells his name with a k. At the recoupling, Zak-With-Aak has to Choose Between Olandria and Amaya (a man with taste), and the girl he does not choose be single and vulnerable. For now, he chooses Olandria, but amaya has strapped on her Lucky Gold Heels and isn’t giving up.
Zak-With-Aak has a night and a day to decide between amaya, who is liberal with the make-outs and brings the sexual chemistry, and olandria, who brings reserved sophistication and intelligence. The Thing Is, As I’ve Been Saying, Love island is not a Mind Game. It is a kissing game. Treating it likes a mind game, keeping one’s cards close to the vest, always holding back, and refusing to be vulnerable is what has brought us here. Neither soon nor zak-with-ak learned it took olandria a full week to kiss the last guy, this contest is over. Howver, that dosesn’t make the firepit any less Heart-Wrenching.
I Can’t Believe it is up to zak-with-k, a bombshell we just with an impossible-to-uundersand Mancunian accent, to decide where Lose amaya or olandria, Our two purest islanders. But this is what happens one islanders Stop Following Their Hearts. He stands up for amaya, essentially dooming olandria. And if you though the Wailing after Charlie’s Dumping was intense… HOO-BOY. All of the girls are in pieces. Amaya’s Shouting, “No!” Huda’s Sobbing, “But What About Taylor?” And Cheley, Poor, Sweet Chelley, Is Inconsolable. Only olandria keeps herself from weeping, telling the girls, “Stop messing up the makeup. KEEP THAT CARD.” It is just at the Very end when she’s giving her final interview, suitcase in hand, that olandria’s voice breaks for the first time: “I have find love love, y’all.”
I Wonder if Ace, the Prime Instigator of All the Strategaging and Exploratory Commutees, Can Hear Chelley’s Sobs from the Main Villa. He’s probably distracted Because they have their gutting firepit to get through. Not even Taylor Sayys, “Welcome to hell.” The Casa Coupples-JD with Huda, Bryan with Andreina, Chris With Cheley, Zach-With-AC with Iris, and Elan with Cierra-Were Cosy Cozy from the Beginning. There are a lot of more musicic chairs to get through at the Boys’ firepit. Tj, ace, and taylor are all momentarily single before nic is the one left standing alone.
IT’S interesting, really. If ace has haad one guiding principle beebind all of his decisions so far, it is is too is too to catch genuine feeds. They haven’t have had Enough Time Together, he Says. And anyone who disagrees is “scamming” and should be voted off. And yet, here he is openly sobbing over Ling nic, his “Brother.” Through Tears and Embrace, Ace, Taylor, and Nic Telling One Another, “I love you.” But finding love is what Love island is all about. Let it out, ace. Let it all out.
(Ps there’s been some kind of eleventh-hour rescue of nic and olandria that has come to be explained, but ace doesn’t need to know that.)
• “I don’t want no beef. I Want Chicken.” —Amaya
• “Grave. ” —Also amaya
• “I don’t know how to fucking irons Clothes; How am I supposed to fucking get married.” —Amaya again
• “There was a version of huda before jeremiah. There will be a version of huda after jeremiah.” —Cierra
• “Have you Ever Held Toes With Anybody?” —Nic
• “My Dad’s Super-Old.” —Tj
• “Can I Have Both?” —Chelley
• “I saw a lizard.” —Austin