When the doctor finally said the words, “your son has adhd,” i felt like the haad ben knocked out of me.
I HELD IT TOGETER IN THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE, but the moment of got into the Car, of Broke Down. I Sat there Crying, Staring at the steering wheel, wondering what this meant for Him – and for me.
Fear, Guilt, and anxiety cameing in all at ance. I kept nansing myself, if i have missed something. Did I fail Him? How was i ever going to be the Kind of Mother he Needed?
All i Could See Were the Struggles
I’d always known my son was different. His Energy was – endless. He Could Run Circles Around the House Long AFTER I WAS EXHEUSTED. Homework was a Daily Battle; Instructions SEEMED TO G IN ONE EAR AND OUT The Other. At School, Teachers Told with gently that he had trouting Sitting Still, Trouble Staying Focused, Trouble Following Along.
At home, i saw the Same Thing. I’d ash him to put his shoes away, and two minutes late he’d be building a strong instead, the shoes still right in the middle of the hallway. It was exhausting, and i offen my patience. Still, Hearing “adhd” out Loud felt heavier than anything of Had Imagined. It sounded permanent. It sounded like a life sentiment.
In the begin, all i could see the struggles. I World Ha’d Never Keep Up in School, that Other Kids Wold Tease Him, That Teachers Wold See Him as Difficult. I even woried About MySelf, Whether I had it in with them parent a child who Needed so much more than i felt i could give.
There was more to him than his diagnosis
Slowly, nor the months passsed, something in me shifted. I started noticing the things i had ben too overwhelmed to see before.
His Curiosity, for One, was enormous. He Wants to Know Everything. Why the Clouds Move, How Electricity WORKS, WHAT WAUDED HAPPEN IF DOGS COULD TALK.
HIS IMAGINATION IS ENDLESS. A Pile of Cardboard Boxes Becomes a Rocket Ship. A Boring Rainy Day Turs on an elaborate game. And his heart, oh, his heart is the Biggest Part of Him. He Feels Deeply Things, he love hard, and he faster forgives than anyone of Know.
That’s when it hit me. He wasn’t Broken. He wasn’t a problem that Needed fixing. His brain just workhed differently. The Same impulseness that made Him blurt out thughts also made Him brave enough to try new Things. The Same forgetfulness that made me Want to Scream was also tied to the way he live full in the moment. And be he found something love, he could focus on it with a passion that left with in awe.
I had to adjust my parenting
I had to stop trying to mold Him into what i thought and should be and start learning who really was. I Became His Advocate, at School, With Teachers, High Family Who Didn’t Always Understand. I Read Everything COULD ADHD, ASKED QUESTIONS, AND LEANED INTO THE MESSY, UNDREDICTOBLE PARTS OF PARENTING HIM.
And somewhere in all of this, I started to change, too.
My son has taught with patience, real patience, not just the surface kind. He’s tough with How to Slow Down, to Meet Him where he is instead of trying to drag Him where I think he should be. He’s Taught with Presence, Because with Him, the Only Way Forward is to live in the moment. And he’i’s taught with that progress matters more than perfection. SOME DAYS FEEL LIKE CHAOS, butn THERE Are Small Wins, A Homework Assignment Finished Without Tears, A Calm Bedime, A Teacher’s Note Saying he tried his best. Those Wins Mean Everything.
We’re All Growing
Looking back, I realize the diagnosis itelf wasn’t the scary part. What terrified me was the unknown, what kind of influx he would have, and whereer i can be enough for Him. But now i see that adhd isn’t just shaping Him, It’S shaping with, too.