Getting Out of Debt . . . Again – ryan

The air left my lungs as I stared at the credit card statement. I couldn’t believe my husband and I spent
$2,000 in December. Sure, life had been a bit hectic with all the festivities, school parties and last-minute gift purchases over the holidays. But I didn’t think we over-indulged. Yet the evidence was there in black and white.

Reluctantly I showed the statement to my husband, Phil, and his shoulders instantly drooped. I wanted to blame him for our predicament, but we were equally responsible. Our Christmas debt wouldn’t have been
a big deal if we’d had the money to cover it. But we both suffered from a lack of discipline in our finances and continually struggled to make ends meet each month. This new debt just added to our pile of monthly bills.

With renewed determination, we analyzed our spending using a software program and uncovered three habits we needed to break to get our finances back on track:

Problem: Dining out

Since we love food, are terrible at meal planning and lead busy lives, we frequented restaurants a lot.

Solution: A leftover strategy

As my husband and I entered the new year, we developed strategies to stop our recurring debt cycle. To curb our habit of dining out, we cooked meals at home that would last several days. This approach isn’t very appealing for those who don’t like leftovers, but it worked. And best of all, we used the money we saved from dining out to chip away at our debt.

Smart Savers

Your family’s savings goals should be determined according to your needs. For example, you might start off saving 3% of your income each month and increase your savings incrementally to reach an ideal 20%, including money for retirement. Diversify your savings to include an account for easy access when unexpected or emergency expenses arise, or to build a buffer so you can pay future known expenses upfront. Finally, set aside money to invest toward your future, especially your retirement. —Af

Problem: Lifestyle inflation

Every time we received
a raise, we’d increase our spending instead of maintaining our previous level.

Solution: Intentional savings

Our best strategy was building a savings account. When we received our tax refund, we used half of the money to reduce our debt and deposited the remaining half into our savings account for unexpected emergencies. That kept us from reaching for our credit cards when expenses exceeded our income. We also saved any bonuses or raises my husband received from his employer instead of immediately spending the money.

A robust savings account allowed us to cover recurring expenses, like auto insurance and property taxes, as well as unexpected expenses, like replacing a broken water heater. Once we paid off our credit cards, we closed all but one credit account, and that card was locked in a safe deposit box.

Problem: Seeking acceptance

Rather than determining what was best for our marriage and family, we adopted the money attitudes of others because we wanted them to think well of us.

Solution: Understanding money behaviors

Phil and I made a pact to wait seven days before making a big purchase. One time, a friend who was a newly minted salesman for high-end vacuums asked if he could practice his pitch on us. He was selling the Rolls-Royce of vacuums, and we were sold. But our self-imposed waiting period saved us from indulging our impulses and buying a $1,500 vacuum we didn’t need.

It took many years to figure out what motivated our money behaviors. Sometimes my husband was the saver and I was the spender. Then we’d flip roles, and I’d be the saver and my husband the spender. Over time we discovered that, depending on the situation, our personalities, emotional needs, and job or relationship expectations drove our money behaviors. For example, since I’m typically conscientious about money, I tend to be thrifty. But I also struggle with rejection. If I’m out with friends, it’s easy to flip from thrifty to spendy to garner praise.

My husband and I also discovered that we were turning to God in times of financial need but ignoring Him in times of plenty. So we started applying scriptural truths to our money decisions. For example, we often lean on Hebrews 2:10 and Colossians 1:16, which say that everything belongs to God, and we were created for Him.

Throughout this journey, we’ve learned to play to our financial strengths as we continue working on our weaknesses. Building better financial habits has not only strengthened our marriage, but it also glorifed God.