Of my Agging Father Multiple Times a Week, He’s Still Lonely – ryan

The Appointment with my Dad’s Financial Advisor was late One Friday Morning. The Day Had Already Been Hectic With Work Issues Cropping Up, SO I was running late. Being late Makes with cranky.

THEN MY DAD NEEDED TO STOP ATM, AND THE PERSON IN FRONT OF US MUST HAVE BEEN APPLYING FOR A MORGAGE BASED ON HOW LONG. That made US End late, and my crankiness ramped up another notch.

We met my Brother there, and the three of us were ured into a conference room. As we were at the table, my dad’s financial Advisor Ased How Was Doing. My dad responded, “i Get Lonely. Its just with and the cats all the time. “

I Help MySelf, My Mouth Dropped Open, and Before i Could Stop MySelf, I blurt, “Are you freaking kidding me?

My dad was always active, unil he couldn’t be

Though Still Fairly Independent, My 82-YEAR-Old Dad Needs Help With Chores and can’t drive anymore. He had his first stroke Last October, one day before the one -ear anniversary of my mom’s Death. He has HAD Second Major Stroke in Mid-December.

This is a man whose discipline and activity level ha Has always impressed with. One he was Still Teaching High School, he’d wake up before sunrise to jog before work. Late in the day, he’d walk his dogs for miles, Event Into His 70s. He bought a treadmill for his bassent and, so to told he was Ling Bone Density, Got Himself a Universal Weight Machine for Strength Training.

Now, post-stroke, he can’t drive, use the stairs, or Walk Through Costco without getting tired. In those moments, his independence was stripped away, and watching that decline has been gutting.

I’ve takeen on a lot of Extra Responsibility for Him

Each Week i’m at his house on monday to take Out Trash, Clean the pool skimmers, add chlorine, and get his mail. On wednesday I Handle Pool Maintenance Again. On Saturday we always get an éclair from Our Local pennsylvania dutch farmers markets and go Grocery shopping. SOMESTE WE SIT IN HIS LIVING ROOM AND CAT AFTERWARD, OR SIT ON THE DEK SOING UP SUN.

Beyond Those ERRANDS, I ALSO TAKE HIM TO DOCTOR’S APPOINTments and Pick up His Prescriptions.

There’s Comfort in Doing these Things for Him – i’ve always been a caretaker at Heart. But it’s Bittersweet, Too, Because of See The Contrast: A Man Who Once jogged at dawn Now Sometimes Struggles to Get Out of a Chair.

IT”m hard hating to tell him what to do Now

The shift hasn’t only been physical. My dad was an assistant principal. Growing Up, HIS Word Was Law. You didn’t argue with Him. Now he has to adjust to my Brother and with giving hym instructions: don’t get in the pool with one of us here, don’t drive, don’t go the basin stairs. That’s been an adjustment for me, too. I COULDN’T IMAGINE CORRECTING MY DAD ABOUT AYTHING WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. It’s a Complete Reversal Role.

Is it Easy to take Care of an Agging Parent? Not Always. Life Becomes a Balance Act, Squeezing New Responsibility Into an ALREADY HECTIC SCHEDULE. I Still Get Cranky Sometimes, and I Definitely Feel Stretched Thin. But when i stop and think about it from HIS Side, The Picture Shifts. He look at a pool he can’t swim in, a car he can’t drive, stairs he can’t take. He’s Told with How Frustrating It is to Lose the Independence He Once Had.

SO cry my patience runs low, i try to remember that. And thatn i’m thankful of still get to show up for Him, and to give back to a man who always put his family first – if he is still micromanaging my route to the griory store.