Gen Z Wife Has Eye-Opening Take On Common Wedding Day Trope: ‘Not Normal’ – ryan

A Gen Z woman’s passionate TikTok video rejecting the common notion of pre-wedding “cold feet” being normal has gone viral.

In the videoHaily Halcyon, 26, argues that feeling anything less than absolute certainty about your partner before saying “I do” is a major red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.

Since the video was posted it has gone viral, receiving over 187,000 views on TikTok alone at the time of writing. Halcyon spoke to Newsweek about what inspired her to make the video—and divorce consultant Olivia Dreizen Howell also weighed in on the complexity of pre-wedding jitters.

“I want you to know that it’s not normal to get cold feet before your wedding,” Halcyon said in the video. Recounting questions she faced before her own wedding, she said her response to queries about nerves was clear: “I would tell them, I have warm feet…I feel like I’ve got fuzzy socks on.”

Halcyon elaborated on her motivation for sharing the message.

“I felt really strongly about sharing this because I think we’ve normalized ‘cold feet’ way too much when it comes to marriage,” she said. “There’s a difference between feeling nervous about the commitment itself, which is totally natural, and feeling unsure about the person you’re committing to. That second kind of doubt shouldn’t be brushed off.”

Halcyon said she’s seen people “silence” their gut feelings because of the “cold feet” trope, leading to regret and relationship breakdown.

‘Cold Feet Are Normal’

While her unwavering certainty struck a chord, Olivia Dreizen Howell, divorce consultant and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry, acknowledged the prevalence of such feelings and their complexity.

“Cold feet before a wedding is incredibly common, and, in many cases, totally normal,” Howell told Newsweek. “Any major life transition can bring up anxiety, even when it’s something you want and have chosen.” Similar to Halcyon, she differentiated between general anxiety about the commitment and deeper issues within the relationship.

The crucial distinction, according to Howell, lies in the ability to communicate fears openly and safely with one’s partner.

“The point where it becomes a signal to ‘run’ is when that anxiety is paired with emotional fear—especially fear of speaking openly with your partner,” she explained. “If you’re afraid to express your feelings, or expect to be met with criticism, dismissal or emotional shutdown, that’s a deeper issue.”

Ultimately, Howell concluded, “Cold feet are normal. The real question is: Will your partner help warm your feet with love, or throw ice on you?”

While Halcyon’s viral take offers a perspective on conviction in commitment, Howell’s insight reminds couples that navigating pre-wedding anxiety requires communication and assessing the emotional safety within the relationship.

As for the certainty about her own relationship that she spoke about in her video, Halcyon said that her own sense of sureness wasn’t “one big, cinematic moment,” but rather “a quiet realization that built over time, especially during one of the hardest years of our lives.”

Facing intense stress and financial hardship together solidified her conviction.

“If we could make it through the messiest, most uncertain chapters of life with love and grace, then we were more than just in love,” she said. “We were real, solid partners in life. That’s what made me sure.”