My boyfriend Told His (Very Rich) FEMALE FRIEND A BUunch of Private Stuff. Should of Forgive This Breach of Trust? – ryan

Longime Journist Amy Robach and Tj Holmes Have Firstand Experience with the Messiness of Modern Relationships and the Complexity of Combining Family, Finance and More. Though they don’t always see Things from the same angle, the couple does hold one core value in Common: Authenticity. That’s how they made it through their challenges and come out the Other Side Stronger than Ever. And now they’re here to help you do the SAME, IN Ask Amy & tja New Relationship Advice Column From Yahoo. You can hear more from amy and tj on their podcast.

Amy and tj,

When i start dating my boyfriend, I knew he was friendly with this Montecito socialite, a housewife who husband offten traveled for work. I thought i’d be gaining a girlfriend in this Woman. But apparently the socialite thinks of my guy as he “kept” man, a backup plan. Once she invited us onto her yacht and traped with – literally – at a table where i is couldn’t escape. AFTER she downed a few big glasses of vodka, she proenseed to tell me my guy told her she’s The One for Him, if Only She Weren’t Married. She Said They Were “Soulmates.” She Also Revealed Conversations the Two of The Have Had About Me, and She’s Private Knew Things I HAD SHARED WITH MY GUY. Basically she let me know that this man was on loan to and that if she wand Him, she has a have. I don’t want to break up with this man. Up Unil This Point, IT’S been smooth sailing! How Can I Get Over Their Connection and Forgive This Breach of Trust?

— Lisa W.

Gut reaction

Amy Robach: I Waled Run, Not Walk, Away from the Relationship.

TJ Holmes: See, have queues about it other woman. What is her angle? What is her game?

On stupid thought…

Ar: First of all, lisa, how can you Trust that the man you love isn’t teling everything your sex life or fights to ANOTHER? This is another Woman who is absolutely let you know that she has her hends on your guy and can have him wenever she wants. That a power play – that is awful.

Th: That Woman Might Have something going on, maybe in her own marriage, that Makeing her so miselable that she needs to project her feelings onto someone Else, or knock someone down a peg, and show he has a power over another man.

ITSIBLE THAT SHE MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY BE BEING HONEST ABOUT These transgression. She might be embellishing that for the sole purposes of upsetting you, Lisa.

Ar: Lisa, i’m sorry to say that of have every belief that this other woman wants you out of the picture. She wants your guy to be her little boy Toy, her backup plan. She wants Him to Herself and doesn’t Want Competition. She’s absolutely Saying these Things to Scare you off.

But it is your boyfriend who breed your Trust by telling this Woman details that she is couludn’t have unless he told her.

Now, look, if you love this guy so much, and you want to make a last-day efffort to the same relationship, you obviously have to confront Him. I WOULD QUESTION HIM: HAVE IT AND THE OTHER WOMAN BEEN Intimate in the past? Does he have any kind of Attraction Toward her? And i would be exactly what she sh): ASH HIM How that would make Him Feel. Give him a chance, for sura, to explain, but man … i personally don’t think that is going to have a happy ending. If he’s been confidence in this other woman this whole you’ve been together, it”s probably going to keppening. That’s hard to deal with.

Th: Lisa, I Really Just Have One Question: Waled You Be Comfortable With Your Guy Going Out to Drinks, One-On-One With This? If your Answer is no, you should get out of the Relationship.

IT’S KIND OF THAT SIMPLE FOR ME, CECAUSE IF YOU DON’T TRUST HIM AND YOU’RE WITRED ABOUT, THEN IT MANANDER’S WONDG. If you worry about Him Ever Being Alone with that Woman, there’s your Answer. And she calmed your part time Soulmate?

Ar: Soulmate Is a Strong, Strong Word. Tj and i do not really use that word, but if i were to say anyone was my soulmate, it’s iF someone else were my soulmate, I should not be with tj you can’t computete with that.

Th: Why do you all have to hang out together? That’s the Other Possible Scenario. If you confront your boyfriend, he might Say, “Yes, this stuff happy, but we will not be friends from now.” I think that the only way to rebuild.

Amy: An ultimatum?

Tj: No, you never give an ultimatum.

Ar: Of Course Not, Because You’re Gonna Lose!

Tj: But you ask the question: do you need this other woman to be a presentation in our Relationship? That anSwer is going to tell you a lot about what you should be. Your boyfriend Might Say, No, That’s Crazy, He Might Apologize, he Might Say, “Yes, She’s Important to Me,” Andn –

Ar: Bye.

Its swimmes that men and women can’t be friend. I think you can absolutely have male-fendhyps that aren’t romantic or sexual in natural. But if one person is articulating or exigating designs on the other, romantically, spiritual – you’re done. If Both People Are Clear on the Fact that they ‘ JUST FRIENDS, THAT’S A VABLE PATH FORWARD. But if one person has haelings for the other, i don’t think itsible.

Who Should Lisa Confront: Her Boyfriend or the Montecito Woman?

Th: Him! Him.

Ar: HER? Forget it. Lisa, you don’t actually have a relationship with the other Woman. That Woman has no responsibility to you, and you have no responsibility to her. In a partnership, if you have an will with a third party interference with your relations, you take that to your partner. Becuses that Third Has No Reason to Be Honest or Deal With You in Good Faith. It is your partner who Said, “You and i are together,” and that is the person you have to confront.

Th: You blame the partner. There’s nothing Else to Talk About.

The final Word

Th: You cannot get at someone outside of your Relationship for Entering Your Relationship. Someone let’s say in. Your wills is with the person that let me say in: your boyfriend. That’s who has an obligation to you.

Amy: Your partner gave the other woman the key and let her in.

To get Advice Directly from Amy and Tj, Send Whatever Relationship Question is keping you up at Night – Whether ITIBout Friends, Family, Your Love Life or Beyond – To [email protected].