Typical Dad ‘Rough and Tumble’ Play Has Long-Term Impact, Experts Say – ryan

A first-time dad who suffered from postnatal depression has spoken out about the one activity that helped him improve his connection with his baby.

The conversation between Matthew Carter, 36, and Dr. Anna Machin, doctor of evolutionary anthropology, quickly went viral on TikTok, racking up over 383,000 views.

During the snippet from Carter’s podcast (@thesecretlifeofdads), Carter, from London, says that he didn’t feel close to his daughter until she was around eight months old. Machin explained why it is “critical” for a father and baby to form a connection.

Newsweek spoke to both about “rough and tumble” play, which refers to wrestling, giggling and chasing each other around—mostly demonstrated by dads.

‘I Didn’t Have an Instant Bond’

In a phone interview with NewsweekCarter, the co-host of the podcast, explained that he was “struggling” when his now three-year-old came into the world.

“I felt anxious,” he said. “It was like a gray cloud was constantly hanging over me.

“I began to feel like something was wrong with me because I didn’t have an instant bond.”

According to Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance (MMHLA), one in 10 fathers experience depression or anxiety during pregnancy or the first year following pregnancy. Carter told Newsweek that therapy helped him overcome it.

During the clip, Carter explained that parenthood became fun when he could make his daughter laugh by throwing her on the sofa. Machin confirms that this is “perfectly normal.”

Machin, the author of The Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father, told Newsweek that playing is “a key behavior for building bonds.”

“Dads build their bonds via interaction as they don’t get the head start of pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding, which are all sources of significant bonding hormone release,” she said. “Because of its fast, exuberant pace, it is an incredibly efficient way of releasing bonding hormones for dad and child, which is important if dad is time-poor due to work. And dads are much more likely to take part in rough and tumble play and at a much higher frequency than mums.”

“Dads don’t realize that babies lean toward their mom,” Carter said. “It’s about not taking it personally.”

“The corresponding peak in moms is provided by nurturing behavior. And this peak for dads corresponds with a similar peak for kids, so kids and dads are preferred play partners, seek each other out to play, and this ensures that dads carry out this developmentally important behavior with their kids,” Machin told Newsweek.

Benefits of Rough and Tumble Play

Machin explained: “It releases oxytocin, dopamine, and beta-endorphin, all of which underpin love. And it is developmentally crucial.

“Because it is fast, challenging, risky and reciprocal, it builds mental and physical resilience in the child and teaches them about social interaction because they must understand turn-taking, and they have to be empathetic to understand whether or not what they are doing is still fun for the other person. Dads are the number one parent when it comes to resilience building and social development, so it is an incredibly important behavior.”

Carter added that he was inspired to create the podcast with personal trainer Lawrence Price, as he soon realized there’s “no handbook” that comes with becoming a dad. He now speaks to various experts, sharing his experiences in a bid to help men navigate fatherhood.

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