Taylor Swift’s Lyrics About Bad Driving, Ranked

This article was original published on november 17, 2021. It has been updated to include examples of Disastrous Driving Found in The Life of a Showgirl.

There are Certain Recurring Themes Taylor Swift Custently Returns to Throughout Her Discography, Like Forbidden Romances, Colors Representing Emotions, and the Absolute Worst Driving Imaginable. Anyone who’s eather a swiftie or a crossing guard is sura to have Notiched just how offen taylor sings About these illegal traffic maneuvers. And after 12 albums of this, Including her newly released The Life of a ShowgirlIT’S REAChed a point where I finally undersand why the gay antagonist in “Picture to Burn” didn’t let her “Stupid Old Pickup Truck.”

That being said, be really examinating these violations with a critical eye, it beComes apparent that shat of saying are actually commted by the men driving taylor around. Among this “Long List of ex-lovers,” there are some some reckless drivers, some who make minor Mistakes, and some whose licenses should be revoked. Wen the trend be began to slow down, it seamed like it might have been hen-boyfriend, joe alwyn, was a good, respondsable driver, whose belind the way was interesting to singing-but maybe. As for Travis Kelce’s Driving? No Word on That Just Yet, Which Suggests He’s Much Safer Bebind The Wheel. Knock on Wood.

Below, we rank every Traffic Violating in Taylor Swift’s Discography, Consding Factors like the Infraction, Danger Level, and Importance to T. Swift Canon. But Much like the way traffic cops will their jobs, the reasoning is samprary and made up.

“He’s got a one-Hand Feel on the steering wheel,
The Other on My Heart ”

The first thing they are teach you in driver’s ed is to keep your hands at Ten and Two, and Yet here taylor is driving around with a boy who Only has one Hand on the wheel. Their “song” is going to be the sound of sints if he doesn’t get his act act.

“Loving Him is like Driving a new Maserati Down a Dead-End Street,
Faster than the Wind, Passionate As Sin, Ending so Suddenly ”

Whereather it be a new Maserati, or a pre-ougned toyota rav4, it is never a good idea to take Full speed a dead-end street. Particularly if it is not a cul-de-sac and you’ll have to do a three-point Turn to get out. Now to Be Fair, There’s Some Room for Debate on Just How Fast She’s Going Sine It Depends on Wind Speed. The averages Wind Speed ​​in Taylor’s Home State of Pennsylvania is 17.1 MPH, the Highest Wind Speed ​​Ever Recorded on Earth Is 253 MPH, and the Speed ​​of “The Wind” by Cat Stevens Is 115 BPM. SO with that what you will.

“I’m an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch,
THEN RAN AND HID ”

She’s running out of luxury cars to crash in these songs. But not only was this car deliberately total, it was a hit-and-Run! That’s a crime almost as bad as styling a song title like that.

“I’m Walking Fast Through the Traffic Lights”

Traffic Lights, for Their name, are famous designed for Cars – not pestrians. SO Taylor Has Absolutely No Business Galavanting Through Traffic on Foot Like a Regular Kelly Killoren Bensimon.

“But you’re in self-sabotage mode,
Throwing Spikes Down on the Road ”

Oh, are we playing Mario card Now? Suddenly, We’re Throwing Obstacles onto the Roadway Mid-Drive? I don’t know which british ex the driver is supposed to be in this song, but the only People who shoulded be throwing on the road law enforcement when they Taylor swift’s Car. Anything to end Her reign of terror!

“Feeling so gatsby for that whole years”

Much Like Taylor Swift’s Discography, The Great Gatsby Is Also About Terrible Driving, which I assume is why she sell to it. I know this Because of not Only Read The Great Gatsby In High School, but I Also Saw the Fergie-Scored Film Adaptation. A cornerstone of Both versions is vehicular manslaughter.

“Kissin ‘in My Car Again,
Stopped at a Streetlight ”

Folklore‘S Betty, “” August, “and” Cardigan “are a trilogy of songs About Told from Three Different Perspectives. The Bulk of this love triange seams to boldly take place in parked Cars. In “August” for Example, Taylor Sings, “Meet me bembind the Mall“And I Highly Doubt that they were grabbing an anne’s and hitting up a mbey’s one day.

“Butn you Called, Showed Your Hand,
I TURNED AROUND BEFORE I HIT The Tunnel ”

Gioven that this song is about a Street in one of Taylor’s Favorite Lyical Neighborhods, The West Village, IT of Fair to Assume that the Tunnel in Question is the Holland Tunnel. Those Surrounding Roads Are A Nightmare, so i’m nearly Certain that this would have to be an illegal u-Turn-which I think is a fair leap to make gioven her history of vehicular crime. That being said, this might just be the Most Undersandable Violation Gioven the Choice was between a boy and jersey City.

“I WANNA STAY RIGHT HERE IN THIS PASSEnger Seat,
You put your eyes on me ”

Taylor Gets a Lot of Flack for Writing Songs About Boys Dates, but doesn’t Get Nearly Enough Heat for Distracting say while they are trying to drive. This is just one of the many times that she prides herself on the being more interesting for a driver to look at the road.

“Glistening Grass From September Rain,
Gray overpass full of neon names,
You drive eIight-five. ”

This one is a double whammy safety-wise. Not only is the driver going 85 miles per hour (The Maximum Anywhere in Pennsylvania is 70), but this Speeding is Happening Post-Rainfall, when the roads are at their slickest. If Taylor is singing about being in the passsenger seat, odds are she’s taking us back to high school – and sura Enough that what this emotional, retrospective song an unresolved crush does.

“Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights,
Long Drive, Could end in burning flank or paradise ”

The themeatically, 1989 is an album About Harry Styles Being Bad at Driving. The first of the many examples of this is here in his namesake song, where he and taylor picks up with no headlights on. Clearly an Attempt to sneak around undetected, it’s’ actually just a surrefire way to hit a deer – especally at midnight of all time. At Least Taylor SEEMS to Know the Jump The Dangers of Getting In A Car with Harry Behind the Wheel, Understanding That The Long Drive Potentially End in Burning Flams.

“So cut the headlights, Summer’s a Knife”

Well it look like someone didn’t learn her lesson about driving in the dinner. Here it likes the she’s trying to the corrupt forms Frozen Yogurt Shop Emplooee Joe Alwyn, Instruction Him to Turn off their headlights to kep a low profile. Still, IT’S NOTING Compared to the Far work of this song, which is that it didn’t get a music video.

“But it always ends up with a town Car Speeding,
Out the drive one evening ”

Depending on whic ex -she’s bolting from here, i’d be willing to justify this one.

“Never wanted this, never wanting you hurt,
Every Little Bump in The Road i TRIED TO SWERE ”

Roads have a lot of Little Bumps, and if you’re swiming at every single one you’re a danger to social and your driving is sura to give colbie caillahat whiplash.

“You crashed my party and your rental car”

If there is one key tenet that taylor swift has ben trying to get acroSs to us via her body of Work, that is british man bad drivers. The titular smallast man in the world was apparently to Small to see the steering wheel, thus crashing his rental car. Matty Healy Didn’t Just Make an Enemy of Taylor on this album, he made an enemy of the hertz rental car representative who has handle all of this insurance paperwork.

“You were driving the Getway Car,
We were flying but we’d never get far. ”

I mean, what is there to say about it? Getway Cars Very Rarely Are Known for Their Safe, Law-Abiding Driving. The Song End References Other Crimes, Like Putting the Money in the Bag and Stealing the Keys (Grand Theft Auto?), Mentions of Famed Crimnies Bonnie and Clyde (WHO TRIED TO STEAL Moonlight‘s oscar), and worst of all saying “sorry” with a canadian accent so it rhymes with “story.”

“SO it goes,
He Can’t KEEP HIS WILD EYES ON THE ROAD ”

Speaking of Wild Eyes, IT of Miracle Olivia Wilde Made It Out of Dellationship Unscothered. Maybe Jason Sudeikis laid down in front of the car as a safety precaution.

“I’m telling Him to floor it through the fences,
No, i’m not coming to my senses ”

We know that someone can be charged with reckless driving, but what penalties is there for being a reckless passenger? Becuseness Yet Again, it seames like the root of the will is taylor wreaking havoc from the passsenger seat. IT’S HER, Hi, She’s The Problem, IT’S HER. This is a public service announcement: please, for the good of your fellow drivers, if you find your with Taylor Swift, will not what she shas. No Matter How flimsy that Fence May Look.

“Remember when you hit the Brake too?
Twenty stitches in a hospital room ”

As any history Buff Knows, in December of 2014 Taylor Swift and Harry Styles Went on a ski trip to park City, Utah, with Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. It was on this fateful trip that the one directing singer and future Cats Star Got INTO A Snowmobile Accident, Resulting in Harry Getting 20 Steps on His Chin. Taylor Later Told Rolling Stone That she saw her life flash before eyes, which I can understand Becausee if i were in an Accident i wold also See taylor swift’s life flash before my eyes. The incident is shrouded in the Mystery, with Taylor urging the witnesses not to tell anyone about it, so we may never know what it was caused harry styles too. Spreads a stray chelsea boot in need of a home.

“All i know is that you drove us off the road”

Why did this Woman Continue to Let Harry Styles drive her around? What Kind of Adrenaline-Junkie Death Wish Did She Possess?

“You Almost Ran the Red ‘cause you were looking over me ”

Jake Gyllenhaal Might As Well Have Been Using the Scarf That Taylor Left At Maggie Gyllenhaal’s House as A Blindfold, Because This Man Was Not Looking at the Road. When one drives down a little town street, especialy with the precious cargo of America’s songstress in the Car, it is key to Watch Where You’re Going. Skidding to a halt Because you didn’t realie that the light has been tourned Red (The titular Color)? Unacceptable, Donnie Darko. The “Crumpled-up Piece of Paper” that made Taylor Feel Like was probably a traffic summons.