‘I’m Trying for a Baby With My Gay Husband’ – ryan

Walking down the aisle to meet the love of my life, I was bursting with pride. I felt like the luckiest woman in the world—not only was I marrying my soulmate, but we were surrounded by loved ones who wholeheartedly supported our unconventional relationship.

At first glance, Jacob Hoff, 31, and I might look like your typical heterosexual couple. But spend a little time with us, and you’ll quickly discover the unique twist: Jacob is gay.

We first met in November 2015 during a casting call for Fiddler on the Roof in Escondido, California. We connected instantly and became best friends. Our friendship started off platonic, but I found myself deeply confused by my feelings.

“How could I possibly like him as more than a friend? He likes men,” I would ask myself. I tried to brush it off, to bury the feelings. But about 18 months into our friendship, I finally told him the truth—and to my surprise, he felt the same way.

Despite never having been attracted to a woman before, Jacob couldn’t deny our connection either. We were inseparable during that theater run—spending every night together, laughing until the early hours. It felt like we had lived many lives together already.

Even though neither of us had ever heard of a gay man being in a romantic relationship with a woman, we decided to give it a chance. We were intimate, and it felt natural for both of us. I moved in with him shortly after, and the rest is history.

We’ve lived in Los Angeles for eight years now, and our relationship has only grown stronger. I have never once doubted his love for me. People often assume our relationship must come with caveats or complications, but honestly, it’s not that different from anyone else’s.

We may be open-minded, but we hold traditional values when it comes to marriage. To us, marriage is sacred—a lifelong commitment. We would never have walked down the aisle if we weren’t fully devoted to one another.

We’re also incredibly open in our communication. Sure, we might acknowledge when someone is handsome, but that doesn’t mean we’re lusting after them. We only want each other. There’s no fear or confusion in our relationship—just trust.

Looking ahead, we want to start a family and raise our children with honesty. We won’t sit them down one day for a “big reveal” that their father is gay. We plan to normalize it from an early age. To us, it’s not a secret or something shameful—it’s just part of our story.

By being open, we hope to raise children who are confident, kind, and accepting of all people and relationships. If we make it into a dramatic conversation, it sends the wrong message. We want them to understand that love can look different—and that’s something to be proud of.

Our relationship may not be what people expect, but it’s real, it’s loving, and it works for us. I’m not just okay with the fact that my husband is gay—I’m incredibly proud of the life we’ve built together.