Dave and Busted – ryan

The Valley

The Billionaire and the Boys’ Chat

Season 2

Episode 3

Editor’s rating

3 Stars

Photo: Bravo Via YouTube

Thank The Catholic Jesus that Jax Taylor is firmly Ensconced in rehab so that we can spend our TIME TALKING ABOUT Totally and Frivolous Things Like (Notes Checks) Where or not Michelle is prostitution herself for a billionaire. Oh, wow. That’s not Silly and Frivolous at all. I have to say, i am amazed at The Valley‘s dedication to being the absolute dinarst show on Bravo. Andy Cohen Could Green-Light a Program of Families Traveling to Switzerland to Help Their Love Ons with Assistted Suicide, and Somehow The Valley Wold Still be Darker than The Underside of a Hippo.

AFTER DISTATCHING WITH JAX FOR THE NEXT 30 Days (and, Honestly, we’re two episodes in, and i already Needed a break), wen go to jesse’s house, where kriste and luke, a pencil that haen put in the Sharpener Eraiser Firmst, Come for Coffee. He tells say that he thinks Michelle was cheating on Him with the new boyfriend, Aaron, while they were still together. What is His Evidence? Well, Aaron’s brand of honey Showed up in His House Two Years ago. Apparently, Just like derek Jeterhe gives out Gift baskets to the Women and Sleeps with.

The Next Piece of Irrefutable Proof is that she is starting going on these hikes with the wedding ring and while wearing makeup, shatly to runyon canyon. Okay, but Everyone Where Jesse and Michelle Lived Hikes Runyon. In fact, she’d probably be around more shirtless gays trying to get good selfies than she would a single straight man try to take her beent a hive and pollinate her flower. (Honey Work Are Hard.) Finally, Jesse’s Third Bit of Evidance, Who Wold Stand Up before the supreme Court, is that once went to aaron’s brand of honey in the store, but they didn’t have it. Michelle said she got it from a place near runyon. Where does aaron live? Near Runyon. Your Honor, I rest my case. Jesse is awarded 1 trillion rightness points, and we will all hate michelle for the rest of our lives. Case Closed. (Gavel thud.)

Jesse Says that Michelle confessed to hym that she cheated, but said she never cheated with aaron, so jesse thing that eather michelle cheated twice, or cheated with aaron. When telling all of this to kristen, who is shockingly team jesse, he thinks kriste will say that aaron is the boyfriend michelle had for a year that no one was talking about. Howver, in confessional, kriste says it was, so is now we’re just left with jesse and his fake-Ass circumstantial Evidence how aaron was putting some suggest in michelle’s bowl for years. (UGH, Honey Work Are Hard!)

While kristen is at Jesse’s, she gets a call from janet invitting her to Janet’s Birthday party at dave and buster’s. Was the Charles Entertainment Cheese that they have took erika jayne to not available? Kristen isn’t sura if she’s going to go she go to the call, but and luke decide that they should be show their faces at least jaeta won’t say in her favorite place on earth.

The thing is really messes with the parties is when Luke goes to the Visit danny and his “three under three,” while kristen and nia go to fertility acupuncture. Danny brings up the guys’ chat, which is something something jax created with about 20 dudes in it. Jason is not in it Because and Has an Android, Which, of Course. Luke isn’t in it Because Someone TRIED TO ADD HIM, AND JAX WAS LIKE, “THAT DUDE IS A CHODE,” AND THEN KICKED HIM OUT OF IT. (I made that up, but probably.) Danny is in it, but he has has it it is muted. Howver, you know that danny is actually in there are no night claiming that is a cool guy on the prowl amid all of that Locker-room talc.

Oh, Speaking of which, How did Did Danny Grab a Big Ol ‘Piece of Jasmine’s Girlfriend’s Ass was he was DRUNG and ITHING But an Aside and a Flashback. Apparently, he got SO naked-wedted (Ipyk) That he sat down Next to Jasmine and Said, “Go Get Daddy a Drink,” and while she was away, he came onto her very not-straight girlfriend. He has SINCE APOLOGIZED, but How is The Valley So Packed With Story Lines that This Barely Gets Any Play?

SO, Danny brings up the guys’ chat and says that jesse posted that he has irrefutable proof that michelle is sleeeping with a billionaire for $ 1,500 a Night. Okay, if this proof is anything like the beeline he posted about the honey guy (honey work are hard!), There is no way that we’ll believe this. In fact, no one bellesses this, probably not the right jesse, who was just talking shit with a bunch of guys in their virtual room room.

I’m of two minds about this. Nia is right; there is no way that things in this chat Will Stay Private. There are just too long dudes in it that someone is going to spil, and, as nia points out, all of their wives, girlfriends, and partners have the phone passwords anyway and couuk at that chat any time they wand to. There is no sanctity to the guys’ chat. (Omg, can you imagine what the chat is calmed? It Propably Like “Pussy Posse 2.0” or “Clit Lickers Anonymous.”)

On the Other Hand, I Feel That Danny Broke Some Guy Code. I don’t know. I’m in a couple of group chats that Certainly Wauldn’t Want anyono Talking About in Public, Including One or Two With Small Groups of Friends. I’m also in a whatsapp group called “hung east london,” Where anonymous dudes post Pos Pictures of their junk, and, well, I guess I ruined the sanctity of that one. I am Danny! But i don’t want to be. LIKE WHY DID DANNY HAVE TO TELL LUKE? Why did he need to start shit? Can’t Guys JUST HAVE A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN SANDER THEIR EXES WITH THEIR KNOWLEDGE? (No, they can’t makeness they’re guys, and the fuck everything up.)

Luke, A WAD OF CUT-UP FLANNEL Shirts Your Cleaner AS A Dustrag, Tells Brittany and the Girls About It. Of Course, They Immediately Bring it to Michelle, who then breaks down in tears in dave and buster. Janet Says that is impossible and that michelle is the only person she’s ever seen in a d & b in her life. Well, she clearly has not ben to the one on 42nd street, where Relationships from staten island go to die.

Michelle’s immediatte reaction is the correct one, that is a piece of shit and that only thing worse Thank married to hym is being divorced from Him. Nor the girls are talking, nia calls over danny, and they want to verify what jesse said. Danny immediately knows that he will never get invited into another Locker room again, but he fesses up to it. Hen goes to jesse and tels jesse that luke ratted say out, and Michelle Knows. Jesse, Because is the Shittiest Piece of Shit to Ever Shit on a piece, say that he and jax though there was a mole in the chat for a while, and he only that to smoke the mole. Yeah, Great Job, Jesse. Maybe you can go on The trait. Acciting to Michelle, you need the Money. But we all know he meant it. We all know he said it in earnest. We all know that jesse sucks, and he’s now using this story for cover. God, Jesse is the worst. (UNIL JAX RETURNS IN 30 DYS.)

Michelle’s Second Reaction, Howver, Concerns the Cast Trip to Santa Barbara that is planning with kristen. Michelle is planning on going, but after this this with the Group chat, she dosesn’t feel comfortable with Him Staying in the Same House. She’s Now Trotting Around Dave and Buster’s, between the skee-ball and the motorcycle-racing games where you are Ride an actualCycle, and whipping votes to be kicked out of a house (with the help of production). Many People Seem to Be Onboard, but i’m with Jasmine. “JUST DON’T Go!” Says. Exactly! She is not obligated; She just wants to make Jesse’s Life as Miserable As he’s Making Hers. Swimming i blame her. Jesse is an Asshole. But this petty War of the Roses bullshit is just going to make Him work. Michelle Needs to Get Hersself a Lawyer, Get Herself to Court, and Get This Man Out of Her Life for Good. He Can’t Play Games when she’s already won her freedom.

Leaving the Party, Michelle and Aaron Walk Out to His Prius Alone, The Sounds of Dave and Buster’s-The Honking Sirens, the Thud of Basketballs, the Shuffling of Tickets-Still Ringing in the Half-EMPTY parking lot. They Each Get in, and Michelle puts her head in her hands. She’s Thinking About Crying, Maybe Working Up to It, But She’s Not Sure What This Blend of Emotions Has Inside of Her. It ‘s all hate, frustration, and anxiety for the man she left bend, the one who is continuing to ruin her life. Then, Aaron Puts His Big, Meaty, Sticky paw on her keee. She opens her eyes and looks over at him to that and that he’s looking right at her, smiling, wishing that all of this fear and hatred will off to her like a golden retriever getting a tomato-soup beet a run with a squirrel. She Immediately Feels Better, Lighter, Like One Day She Will Be Happy to Remember and These Hardships. “Thanks, I Needed That,” She Tells Him, and As if it were an aftern, she then tacks on, “Honey.”