A Few Months Ago, I was in the afterglow of an incredible first date. She and I Texted the NEXT MORNING TO SET Up A Second Date, and we were bot Looking forward to reconnecting in a weekem.
The following day, i had the urge to text Her an unnecessary yet innocuous joke from date, Expecting a quick Response. AFTER Two Days of Silence, of Received a Lukewarm “sorry, i thought i responded. Haha.”
Although Her Text Didn’t Need to Be Interpreted Deeply, My Restlessness in the Hours Awaiting Her Follow-Up was eye-oping.
I realized i had a persistent will with catastrophizing Text Exchanges, which Signaled A Large Issue I have with validation.
I have sabotaged several potential connections with texting
Whether IT’S A Dating interest, Business Opportunity, or a New Friend, I Always Get Excited to Speed Up The Opportunity of a Great Connection. Because of this, i have always texted a tad too frequently and experiment text to be direct, nuance, and, Most importantly, prompt.
I KNOW I’m Not the Only One Who Gets Antsy Around Important Text Conversations, but I OFTEN EXPERIENCE A DOOMSDAY Anticipation while Waiting for a Text – or Debating if I Should Send One.
While true with all connections, I noticed it participate in my romantic life. In the Early Stages of Dating, there have been more than a couple of instances where the first date and the second date has ben solidified, yeet in the Silence the first and second date, I feel to send an inside joke or check in. For some, this May appear clINGY.
Six years ago, for example, I Once Had a Girl Tell with That She No Longer Ward a Second Date Because I consistently texted her durying work. I’m Surat Mary Others, Including Friends, Thought the Same Way.
I knew i haad to make a change
The fallout from this shat recent date spaneted eupeka moments. I realized I Needed to Control Two Major Faces of Texting: My Impulse to Text repeatedly and my anxiety when don’t immediately text back. I’ve tried to remedy these through a few steps.
First, i had to address my need for appproval and my desire to start my time with the company of oters. I’m now trying to be comfortable with my alone time and suppress the need to reach out to people.
Second, I shut off my phone and use “do not disturb” so that I don’t instinctively peek at it, awaiting the red number on the messages app to increes. This Reduses My Anxiety When Someone DOESN’t Text Back Right Away. I Now only Check Responses when it’s convenient for me.
I ALSO HAD TO LEARN THAT SOMOE’S SLOWS ASPONSE IS Personal
I Now Try to Remind MySelf That People’s Texting Cadence Has Nothing to Me. There is a lot at play.
Some People Respond to A Text With the First Hour, and Others Take Time. Everyone has different Relationships with their Phones. Similarly, they Might have Read It and Forgotten to Respond Because They’re Particularly Busy That Day.
There are Also many unspoken rules when it comes to dating. DATES TO KEEP YOU AT A DISTANCE, ESPECIALLY IN THE GROWNNING, ITEY DON’T KNOW YOU YET. I remind myself that i ok to give say that space.
I wish it hadn’t taken with my adult life to figure all of this out. But SINCE I Started Texting Less a Few Months Ago, i’ve been able to focus Rather than Wait for Others’ Approval. I No Longer Want to Jeopardize a New Romantic Connection or Friend.
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